Sunday, November 21, 2004

Do you take this man?

So . . had another enlightening conversation just now.
Enlightening more for her than me.
J. has been somewhat happily married (notice the somewhat) for the last 8 months. She has, since the inception of the relationship in general - let alone the marriage, been touting the benefits of love, stability and one man forever. I have finally had it up to my nose and practically yelled, "I don't want that!!!"

Needless to say, she was taken aback . . .
"You don't want what???"
"I don't want one man forever right now, for the love of Christ, I'm 24 years old. The most stable relationship I've ever held was with a pair of shoes, and even they let me down when the heel broke off and the leather finally wore off the toes."
"You don't know what you're saying. When you find the one, you will understand."

Was there even any point in arguing that?? I wanted to, because I certainly don't believe it, but how do you argue against anything so esoteric??? She would just argue in defense of the "You can't know because you've never felt it" point. But what is so wrong with enjoying yourself and not wanting to waste it on someone who won't appreciate it?

When did single-ness become the world's new leprosy? God forbid you be single and happy. That would be a travesty.

I read a startling statistic the other day. Startling only because I didn't realize so many women felt the same way I did. 80% of women aged 21 to 35 have given up on marriage. Now who knows where they got this statistic, because I certainly wasn't polled, but I can't help but say that I have some belief in it's reality. I know of three marriages, just three, that I believe are happy and faithful. The rest . . . well, let's just say that the partners involved aren't always eating at home.

And this is what I'm supposed to be searching for? Looking forward to? Despairing about not having?? Doesn't sound right to me.

For now, I chose single and happy. No worries about where my partner is or what he's thinking. No wondering about where the money I make goes (because how many women really want to fund that hunting trip to Montana for elk?). No fighting for my own covers or waking up to bad morning breath that isn't my own. If this means I give up the good side of a relationship - the sex at 3 a.m., someone to hold you when you cry, someone to rub your shoulders when work has been particularly hellish . . . then I guess I give it up for a while. Every loss has a benefit. Mine, this morning, is dancing around the house in crappy clothes with no make-up singing loudly along with Poe. Sounds like a nice trade to me.


birdie said...

"Not everyone eats at home."
Lunch at the Y, anyone?

birdie said...

Just bored and checking up on you... Check out the picture I put on my site. Please be honest and tell me if I look like a cracked-out whore-monger.
Have a great day sugar-pea!