Monday, December 06, 2004

I am an adult, I am an adult, I am an adult

Just keep saying it until it's real.

I am an adult. This means I take responsibility for my actions. This means I don't despair at the vast amount of debt I have accumulated through graduate school and my first year in the real world. It means that I condense, combine and 0% interest transfer things until I can't see straight.

It means that I stop convincing myself that one day it will hit me that I am an adult and I have to stop spending money on books and cds and start putting that $100 a week expense into my SEP plan (or to you nonself-employed people a 401 K).

It means that I have to stop calling my college boyfriend, who was a bloody asshole anyway, to convince me that bailing on another guy is the right thing to do. (I only call him because I know he'll tell me it's a good idea, he's bailed on everything his entire life - and he's 32).

It means I have to wash my sheets more than once a month.
It means I have to organize my closet instead of throwing "skinny" clothes on the closet floor during "fat" days.
It means I have to stop using my college ID to get discounts at fast food restaurants. When do they realize that that thing's old??
It means I have to stop lying to my friends about previous engagements so I can lie around under a chenille throw and read while listening to Miles Davis.
It also means I have to stop waiting on Prince Charming.

There is no such man. There's no man on this planet who will be with you through thick and thin without so much as a cross word. There's no ripped, black haired, green eyed God to date too tall, too busty, too fluffy women. There's no intellectual who knows music like XTC and The Shins and books like The Master and Margarita and The Fountainhead. There's no football loving, cat hating, sleeps on his own side of the bed man. There may be someone you can teach these things to or someone who will alter his ideas a little - but they don't come pre-packaged.

I am an adult.
I realize the limitations of hope.
I understand the insignificance of my desires.
I am an adult. I am an adult. I am an adult.

But I think I'll buy this "Doors LEGACY; The Absolute Best" album just this once.
I can become an adult after January 1.
It's so close after all.

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