Due to unforseen circumstances, I have had to re-evaluate myself as a living partner lately. I've come to a few conclusions:
I get whiney and bitchy when family members visit NOT because I'm hard to live with, but because, inevitably, someone tells me what to do or how to do something in my own house. I'm 25, I own my own business, I manage to make a car payment, house payment, credit card payments, loan payments, and utility bill payments all on my own. And yet, on the weekends when members of the family visit - I am inevitably told things like - "I just straightened this storage room the last time I was here. Why does it look like this? Clean your storage room out. Do you need all these things?" - - Don't get me wrong, I love my family more than anything. They are my best friends and the only people I know will always be there no matter what. I realize they are saying these things because they love me and want what's best for me. But I also realize that they are too much like me, and that some of the majority of the reason that they tell me these things is that they are control freaks. Nothing is right unless it's their way. I know this, because I'm the same way. I was the kid in class who did the entire group project on her own because she didn't trust the other members of her group to do it right. But, can I help it, when even knowing their love for me (and control freak natures) is what's driving the "I just straightened this storage room the last time I was here. Why does it look like this? Clean your storage room out. Do you need all these things?" comments make me want to scream "It's NOT your storage room! It's mine! It's my stuff! No, I probably don't need all of it! But it's mine and I want it and deal with it and if I want it all in here strewn over the floor, collecting dust and perfectly unusuable in the end, I can have it because it's MINE and in MY house!" If this makes me hard to live with, so be it.
I get bitchy when people leave things lying about in my house because, other than the storage room and a couple of closets (which are SO organized compared to almost everyone else I know) I'm a neat freak. I HATE to walk into a room and see the Sonic straw wrapper from the fast food dinner the night before sitting on the end table. Jesus, the trash can is 8 feet away. You had to throw your burger wrapper and fry container away, why did you leave that straw wrapper there. Yet again, when you make the payment, you can leave shit wherever you please. If this makes me hard to live with, so be it.
I get bitchy when people talk to me when a TV show that I actually dain to watch is on. This is because I don't watch that much TV (regardless of what my family may think - - - most times I'm watching the TV when they're here so they think I'm occupied and I can thusly ignore all the "clean your storage room" comments). And what TV I do watch, I like. I don't want to hear you yapping during the things I'm watching. If you want to yap, yap during the commercials that I don't want to watch that take up 15 minutes of the 30 minute show I do watch. Nothing you want to tell me is so important that it can't wait the three minutes until the next commercial break. If this makes me hard to live with, so be it.
I get bitchy when people break, stain or generally disrespect my property, including but not limited to: my carpet, my furniture, my dishes, my TV, my stereo, my countertops, and the like. If you break one of my dishes (it should be noted that the company has stopped making them and they are sold NO WHERE any longer), at least apologize for it. And following the apology, clean up the mess you made - aka shattered dish. Also, it would be nice, if you would offer to pay for said broken dish. Yes, I know they don't make it anymore so what money you would cough up would not go to replace it . . .. but I spent money to buy the dish in the first place, so if I am no longer going to have the dish, I would like to at least have my money back. They are my TV and stereo. If you ask, I have no problem with you watching or listening to them. Honestly, I don't. However, if there is something I want to watch . . . don't tell me that you're watching something and I should go in the other room or catch it at a later time. First of all, there is no longer another room in my house with a TV. I don't like having TV's in bedrooms, so the only TV I have is in the living room. And it's mine. So if I want to watch something - YOU go somewhere else. It's my TV and my satellite bill. Though, it should be noted, if you are a guest - I will almost ALWAYS let you watch whatever you want. However, if you are a close friend or a family member and you have been here 4 days, you are by God changing the damn channel so I can watch House, M.D. End of story. It's my TV. If this makes me hard to live with, so be it.
I get bitchy when my actions are questioned by others. Particularly actions which do not affect them. Such as buying a new purse. It's my money or in some cases, my credit card, and if I want to buy my 32nd new black purse of the year, don't try and make me feel guilty about it. I have not, nor will I ever, ask you for money to cover my debts. I made my own bed, I will lie in it. Saying things like "Where did that come from?" in a snide tone or "What's that, you're 32nd black purse?" or infinitely worse "I thought you were broke?" will only suffice to piss me the hell off. I have a job, I make VERY good money, I will buy what I want when I want it. I'm 25, don't question me about it. I don't question you about your purchases, don't try and guilt me into returning mine. Yet again, you're not going to have to pay for it, so what the hell do you care? If this makes me hard to live with, so be it.
I get bitchy when people imply that I'm lazy. Particularly when it's the weekend. I am most definitely NOT lazy. I work my ass off all week. The weekend is my time. I have a maid, so I don't have to clean. I do my laundry on the weeknights, so I have no laundry. If I want to lay sprawled out in my chair with my legs up on my ottoman, not take a shower, wrap up in a chenille throw, read a meaningless book and watch crappy TV, by God, I will. Don't attempt to make me feel guilty because I don't want to sit outside in the 90 degree heat with the bugs and the barking of the neighborhood dogs and the endless bird chirping. Sometimes, I would rather be outside. Many a time have I sat out on my swing and read a book all day in the sun, but sometimes I want the mindlessness of the TV on in the background, the air conditioner cooling my body and the book of my choice. Preferring for you to shut up and let me do what I want on the only two days that I DON'T have to follow other people's rules and demands instead of cleaning the storage room, re-arranging my kitchen cabinets, ironing my clothes or washing my car is NOT a sin. If this makes me hard to live with, so be it.
I get bitchy when people make snide comments about what I eat or how I eat or when I eat. Yet again, it's the judgement thing. I don't judge you on what you eat or how you eat, leave me the hell alone about how I do. If I want to eat nothing all day and then sit in front of the TV and devour an entire can of cashews, that's my choice. Cashews aren't that bad for you, particularly when you haven't had anything else all day. If I want to work all day long, come home and eat a salad, some pasta and some grilled chicken and then later have a twinkie or two - it's not going to kill me! I can have a GD twinkie. Don't look at me with a condescending glance or say something like "Didn't we just eat dinner?" or "That's healthy." Yet again, I'm 25 years old, I've made it this far, I think I will make it a little farther. And do you really think your glances or comments are going to alter my eating habits . . . or do you think MAYBE that they will piss me off enough that I might eat more just to spite you. If this makes me hard to live with, so be it.
So, basically, this all boils down to the following: We all have things we won't budge on. We're all selfish people in our own way. If eating a twinkie, watching my TV, laying on my chair, being a neat freak, buying a purse and not wanting to clean my damn storage room makes me hard to live with, so be it. But you guys have your selfish actions in your own house, too. Just remember that when you're about to venture into someone else's home for a period of time longer than a few hours. Maybe you don't like it when someone puts their feet on your coffee table, I know I don't, but I also know 12 other people who think it's perfectly fine. You respect me and my choices and I will reciprocate. Then maybe neither of us will be so hard to live with.