Sunday, May 01, 2005

Wal-Mart Travesties

Every time I venture to the Hell known as Wal-Mart, I have new questions in my mind:

Do people who are white trash KNOW they are white trash, and if so, why don't they do something about it?

Why even make a bikini in a size 4X, does this not just tempt the above mentioned people to make bad decisions? Why even give them the choice?

Where did the mullet emerge from and how do we send it back?

Can there really be that many people in the world who think black shoes/brown belt is a good combo?

When did deoderant become optional? For that matter, when did bathing? Or at least combing one's hair?

Do African Americans really believe that "house shoes" are appropriate foot attire for public places? (which I guess is better than Britney Spears going barefoot into public restrooms)

Why do women of general attractiveness shove themselves into a size 4 when they're a respectable size 10?

People over the age of 8 buy Tweety bird t-shirts . . . for themselves????????? (do you ever want to randomly throw a mirror into their cart?? Just to make sure they DO actually have one at their house)

What is a 70-ish withered man doing with a basket full of nothing but KY jelly and Citrucel?

What is a 300 lb woman doing with a cart full of Trimspa, Dexatrim, Green Tea and Twinkies? Is this a new diet plan?

When did child protection laws mean that you couldn't smack your child firmly across the bottom when she's screaming for 10 minutes at the top of her lungs "I WANT THE TELETUBBY!!!!!!"? Even though the mother deserves this abuse for letting her child be subjected to that idiocy to begin with, the rest of us would like a LITTLE peace and quiet when we're in hell.

And these are the reasons I attempt to do my shopping at 1:00 A.M. on Saturday when normal people are either in bed or out on the town. I reserve Saturday night for either of those activities and Friday night to avoid the spoiled masses who attend the church of Wal-Mart. But there are those necessary emergencies (out of aspirin when the family is in town) which require us to brave the wild.

4 comments:

birdie said...

you know i agree with you. but i steer clear of walmutt at ALL TIMES OF THE DAY.
xoxo
try the pepto trick tonight.

sqg said...

Yep, agreed.

Luckily, I have always lived in large metropolis type cities and so never had to be limited to just a few stores to choose from.

Sound's like you've got a good workable schedule figured out though.
..

I've just been extremely busy. Too busy to be creative at my place but have still been enjoying the goings on at birdland and miss discontent's. :)

Bozo's Monkey said...

Please remember that Wal-Mart is a luxary store to white-trash and rednecks people, just like some of my family members.

Ol' Dad said...

I'm from Arkansas too. I'm pretty sure that Wal-mart is the only thing to do.......ain't it? If it wasn't for the white trash.........I wouldn't feel like I belonged.