Could the rest of the world give me a damn break.
No, I didn’t go to the wedding shower.
Because my “best friend” had been in town almost 2 weeks thanks to hurricane weather and didn’t even bother to ring a girl.
Because I think a wedding shower is just one more way to get gifts out of people that have already bought gifts for the wedding.
Because I didn’t want to be in a room with nothing but old women and soriority bitches that I barely talked to in college. We had nothing in common then - they didn’t understand why I didn’t “rush” and I didn’t understand why they paid $1500.00 a semester for someone to tell them what to do and where to be - and we have nothing in common now - I didn’t marry for money, I got a damn education and my own business they got their Mrs and some diapers.
No, I won’t listen to you whine about how you don’t have any hours.
Because I’m busting ass to get 10.5 hrs worth of kids a day seen, plus evaluate 5 kids (evaluations take 2 hours each) this week alone and you won’t take any of the hours.
Because you didn’t come in until 10 and I’ve been here since 6.
Because you’re leaving at 3 and I’ll be here until 5:15.
Because when I offer you the hours you say “I have a migraine. Maybe I can see some tomorrow.” We have nothing in common. You whine about not having enough money to pay your rent, but you won’t work any hours to get the money. I work twice the amount of hours I want just so I can throw $500 into retirement and $500 into savings a month while still paying my SUV payment, house payment, medical insurance premiums, and collective other bills.
No, I can’t pick you up some beer on my way home.
Because the daycares are only open from 6 to 5, most of my kids leave by 4 or 5, and I have at least 11 kids to see.
Because by 5, it’s rush hour, and it’s 35 minutes to my house with NO traffic, it’s an hour plus during rush hour and I have to be home in time to change clothes, pull back my hair and hightail it to the gym so I’m not late for my 6:30 appointment 6 nights a week.
You get off at 4. If you want beer, carry your happy ass to the liquor store yourself. You will still beat me home.
Yes, I would love to go to the lake this weekend.
Why can’t you?
Because by the time I get off on Friday, it’s too late to pack and haul ass 2 hours to the lake. Particularly if I go to the gym like I’m supposed to. And don’t say pack the night before, I don’t have time - as you can clearly see by the schedule I’ve previously laid out.
Yes, I would love to leave Saturday morning.
Why can’t you?
Because my boyfriend moved in last week. And by moved in, I mean that it was hot as balls and it took us 5 hours to pack all his shit into his truck, my SUV and Zach’s trailer and by the time we got to my place all we felt up to doing was throwing it all in the garage floor. It needs to be put up. Preferably before my parents get up here for dad’s 55th birthday party at my house the NEXT Friday night. And it ain’t like I got time during the week to put the shit up.
Yes, I would love an attitude adjustment.
Why not get one?
Because I have not the time, the money or the inclination to receive the massive amounts of therapy and drug induced happiness that I deserve.
I swear I’m not this bitchy in real life.
I have to vent it all here.
Because if I scream this stuff at the people in my life, their itty bitty pwecious wittle feelings will be huwt and then I have to deal with shit on top of shit that I would rather avoid at all costs.