Yeah, so, things have gotten to political lately. Plus I'm tired of being called Crazy, Pretentious and a Nazi. So . . . .
This is a total piece of fluff.
Oh . . and a warning, it's a LONG piece of fluff. But worth the read.
If you thought my list was revealing, this is probably more so!
I found an old CD last night after digging around for some jammin’ road trip music. I was doing this because dear Birdie (www.birdsovafeather.blogspot.com) and I have determined that we are going to Beale Street in Memphis this weekend come hell or high water. This CD may as well be the soundtrack of my youth. My best friend/roommate/most-beautiful-person I’ve ever met and I made a two disc set of music that we LOVED to dance to for road trips. It’s the “Carol and Meg Jammin’ Shit” discs one and two. It’s almost all rap, but only because that’s what you dance to!
I made the mistake of listening to Disc One on the drive to work this morning (45 minute drive) and could barely focus on the road for dancing and remembering:
3-6 Mafia ; Late Night Tip - Oh My God! I’m 21. I’m smooshed into the backseat of a Camaro. The bass is SO strong that I can feel my heart skipping beats to adjust. We’re driving to Fort Smith, Arkansas to spend the weekend with Wilson’s family. Carol is next to me, the two Stephens (called Baker and Wilson - last names - so as not to confuse them) are in the front. Carol and I are screaming EVERY word. “I’m not the type to get involved in long relationships. Taking trips and buying gifts, I’m sorry I’m not on that tip . . . “
Mo Thugs; Ghetto Cowboy - I’m 17. Riding in the backseat of an extended cab Z-71 truck with huge mud tires. I’m drinking Fuzzy Navel wine coolers from a cooler underneath my feet. I have a boy on either side of me. We’re driving 200 miles to Springhill, Louisiana (the closest place that lets 18-yr olds in a dance club) to “Rockin PV’s”. I’m 17 and everyone else in the truck is 20-25, but it’s cool. We know the bouncers. Can you get any more red-neck?
Notorious BIG; Hypnotize - I’m 15. God, do all these memories involve riding in vehicles?? Riding ON the console of a Mitsubishi Eclipse. A boy on either side of me. (I warned you, in earlier lists, that ALL my friends were guys!) They’re too old to be anywhere near me. I’m too young to care. We’re just driving the strip in town. I get my first kiss. It’s from a 21-yr old. Remembering that kiss makes my toes curl.
Prince; Pussy Control - I flash to EVERY club I’ve ever been to. I finally land on a great one. I’m 18. I’m dancing my ass off with my Freshman roommate and the wildest girl in the dorm. We’re breaking it down in Branson, Missouri under (I kid you NOT) a rhinestone covered saddle hanging from the ceiling. A strobe light is throwing sparkles at our feet.
Ludacris; Lick You - I’m 21. I’m dancing on a pool table with four friends at a fraternity party thrown in someone’s apartment. I smell strong cologne and pot smoke (NOT from me!). I’m drinking something blue. I NEVER drink anything blue after this night. Or anything containing vodka. I do think it was the one time in my life that I was under the influence of drugs . . . contact high. Never be in a small room with a mass of pot heads. Kris Grey later demanded that we pay to replace the felt on his pool table.
Busta Rhymes; Break Ya Neck - I’m 19. I’m in a fraternity house at Arkansas State University in Jonesboro. The basement has been painted black from the floor to the ceiling and people have written messages in day-glo paint pens on the wall. It’s lit by three huge black lights. Lorne (hottest boy EVER because he can SING and DANCE) is DJ’ing. Carie, Rae and I are dancing in a circle and Matt (affectionately called chicken legs) ducks into the middle of us to shake his groove thing. I start laughing so hard that I slip and fall on the floor. As I’m trying to get up, Matt starts air humping me. Damn clown. I can’t help but laugh remembering it.
Big Tymers; Get Your Roll On - I’m 20. I’m dancing in the middle of a packed dance floor on South Padre Island. Annslie sees a group of guys heading our way and slaps me on the ass and grabs a breast hoping to drive them away by pretending we’re lesbians. Instead, it makes them RUN to us. We end up ducking into the bathroom to save ourselves from being accosted. Annslie never was the sharpest crayon in the box. Later in the week she was arrested for having a fake ID. Funny thing . . the off duty cop who was bouncing for the club even admitted to her that it was the most real fake he had ever seen. She would have totally gotten away with it, but when he asked her birthday she said “July 10th, nineteen eight - uh uh uh seventy-nine.” Can you say Jail Bird?
Westside Connection; Bow Down - I’m 17. Senior Year of high school. This was our senior song. Can you tell 70% of my school’s population was black? I’m at prom. Red silk dress cut low and slit high. Seth’s pretending to know how to dance as he holds me. Cut to a different memory, a few weeks earlier. 5 of us cruising “the Block” during our open lunch period. “Bow Down” blaring from the car’s tape deck. Christina is hanging almost completely out of the car window; only Samantha holding her legs is saving her from death on pavement. She’s screaming along with the song “Bow Down, cause we ain’t no haters like you, bow down to some bitches that’s greater than you” at a group of girls that hate us. She pays for it later. Those girls found her alone in a bathroom and left her with a bloody nose, a black eye and a missing patch of hair. We find out, afterwards, that Christina was kissing one of their boyfriends at a party. Samantha said she deserved the beat down for kissing a black guy (Sam was, obviously, a bit racist back in the day). I said she deserved it for kissing someone else’s boyfriend. Who knows if either of us were right.
Coolio; Fantastic Voyage - Though this song was on the radio YEARS earlier, this is the memory I land on. I’m 20. Carie, Jaime, Sophie and I are wriggling on a dance floor in SOME bar/club in Washington, D.C. My cell phone is vibrating against my hip. Carie and I duck outside, still dancing. A guy we know from Magnolia, Arkansas is stationed at Norfolk. “You guys ready?” “Ready??” “Some of the guys and I borrowed a car. We’re driving to DC to get you. You’re going to party with us Navy boys tonight!” “Oh hell yeah!!!” Sophie and Jamie refuse to go. They’re too good even by good girl standards. Funny, but that totally reverses later on. Jamie is the crazy one and Carie is the one saying “No” to nights out with military personnel.
Limp Bizkit with DMX; Rollin - Memory continues. Still 20. Outside DC at Norfolk. Dancing in a sea of Navy boys. Watching a muted TV with the Florida vs. Florida State game on. Seminoles win. Winke is a god on the football field. I’m so happy that I kiss a random boy. Then I run and dance with Carie, because I’m scared that I started something I’m not sure I can finish. I still can’t go to DC without humming this song in my head.
Cypress Hill; Rock Superstar - I’m 21. I’m in New Orleans, Louisiana. We are IN the middle of EVERYTHING! If you were ever in New Orleans on Bourbon Street, you KNOW what I’m talking about. It’s Mardi Gras. I have enough beads on to weigh me down but I’m still dancing so hard it’s a miracle I didn’t pass out. I have a drink in one hand and a beer in the other. I’m surrounded by cute Cajun speaking boys and am begging Amy to NOT let me do anything I’ll regret. I end up being a lip whore. But kissing never hurt anyone, right?
Sweet Home Alabama; Lynard Skynard - VERY long story about how this random song was thrown on the CD, because obviously it doesn’t fit. However, ANYONE from the South knows that there are several odd songs that are at EVERY party – these are: Steve Miller Band - Joker, Jimmy Buffet - Margaritaville and Why Don’t We Get Drunk and Screw, Mo Thugs - Ghetto Cowboy, Poison - Every Rose Has It’s Thorn, Guns and Roses - November Rain and Paradise City and Sweet Child of Mine, and lastly - - Sweet Home Alabama! But my memory isn’t on a Southern party. It’s in Memphis, Tennessee on Beale Street. I’m 24. Bachelorette party. We’ve randomly met a Bachelor Party in the middle of the street. They’re from Alabama. They are gorgeous. They are loaded. They pay for our EVERYTHING all night. Including a trip to Platinum Plus. I’m watching some nubile girl, fully naked, do a backbend on stage. This does NOTHING for me. But watching the guys get turned on is worth the trip. Men become the biggest drooling idiots when there’s a naked woman in the room.
Eminem; Without Me - It’s EVERY Friday and Saturday night my Junior and Senior years of college . . . and my first year of Grad school. 4 girls, 8 guys. Girls are 21-24 throughout all these nights. The guys are 27-35 but always the same guys. Jeston, Bryan, Steve, Patrick, Darryl, etc etc. We LOVED these guys. Hell, Carie married one of them. We’re in the middle of the dance floor. Center of attention. Jeston is video-taping. We ALWAYS have a video-camera at the club, don’t ask. I constantly joked it was so the guys could one day remember which skank from which club gave them which VD. Steve has gotten a bit drunk, and even at 30, has taken off his shirt (girls, this man has always been RIPPED) and is swinging it in circles above his head.
Juvenile; Back that Ass Up - Oh wow. I’m 19. I’m at David’s apartment near the Air Force base. His roommate is trying to convince me to dump David (whom I’ve been dating for three months) for him. It will never happen. David comes home in his fatigues, grabs me and heads to the shower. We turn the stereo up as loud as it will go so his roommate and his girlfriend (yeah, he had one, still tried to convince me to dump David for him . .whatever!) won’t hear us fooling around. He’s 29, I’m a baby compared to him. Particularly in experience. I’ve messed around but never to certain extents.. . . until now. After the shower, I lose my virginity to Back that Ass Up . . . romantic, eh? Hey, maybe it is romantic to an Air Force boy??
Bravehearts; Ooochie Wally Remix - I’m with Carol again. I’m 21. We’re in Cozumel. I’m dancing so low that my knees are creaking in protest. I come back up and there’s the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen in front of me. He grabs my hips and starts semi-dancing/semi-grinding. I’m about to faint I’m so turned on. Carol is behind him dancing and waving the thumbs up sign while mouthing “Would LOVE to!” (Side note - we used to see hot guys in public and would look at one another and then say ‘would love to’ to indicate . . you get the damn idea.) He’s at least 6'4" and has crystal blue eyes. I’m in Heaven. After three more dances, I never see him again.
Sylk E Fyne; Romeo and Juliet - I’m 16. It’s open campus at my highschool and Courtney and I have just broken the land speed record sprinting to her new BMW to beat everyone to the Sonic Drive-In to get medium ocean waters; yes, that was considered lunch - a soda. We’re flying down the road with all the windows down blaring this song while dancing around so hard that the car is actually shaking. How the hell did we not wreck a car every single lunch period???
Bone, Thugs and Harmony; Crossroads - I’m 16. Lifeguarding at the public pool. I LIVE at this pool. Swim team practice 6:30 - 9:30, give swimming lessons from 9:30 11:00, diving lessons from 11:00 - 11:30, pool opens for lifeguarding at 12, closes at 5, but private parties keep us guarding until 10:00. Then it’s party time. We blare rap, rock and country until at least midnight while we dance around and in the pool. I clearly remember blaring this song before there’s even water in the pool. It’s a million degrees and we are covered in paint. Every year, every damn year, we had to paint the interior of the concrete pool with white latex paint. Chris and Eric are entirely too white to rap, but they keep up with Crazy Bone anyway. They’re rapping their hearts out as Kelly and I ogle our new pool manager. Ronnie Ralph. He’s sex on legs. Then we’re too busy telling Eric he’s white to notice that we’ve painted ourselves into the center of the pool and can’t get out without messing up the paint. We were so stupid.
Dr. Dre; Nuttin' But a G-Thing - I’m 14, almost 15, but I think I’m 28. House party! I have one beer and think I’m the coolest thing EVER. I’m dancing in a far too adult manner with an 18 yr old. I’m scared beyond reason that my parents are going to come home at any moment, even though they left just that morning for Bermuda and Jamaica. I have locked my 10 year old little brother in his room so he can’t be corrupted. He NEVER forgives me for this . . and rats me out to my parents the minute they call. They immediately call my grandparents and I’m relegated to living in Moth Ball Hell for the next 10 days. I saw my grandmother naked. I had an urge to iron everything in sight for almost a full year afterwards.
Ice Cube: You Can Do It - I’m 19. I’m with the best friends a girl could ask for. We’re on Spring Break. I’m dancing on top of a table at Flori-Bama. A club on the Florida/Alabama border. It’s where Gulf Shores springbreakers went to meet up with their Panama City springbreaking friends. Someone remembers too late that they shouldn’t be on a table dancing while wearing a skirt. It’s not me - - I rarely am stupid enough to wear a skirt to the club.
Jay Z; Bounce With Me - I’m 18. Emily, older and wiser, is driving me to my first Pi Kappa Alpha fraternity party. Hell, it’s my first fraternity party period! I’ve been in college less than a week. I’m already slightly tipsy and Emily is warning me against taking ANY form of ANYTHING from any of these guys. Most of them are really good country boys, but some have been known to slip a girl a little something. I’m too excited to pay attention to her warnings. Luckily, it turns out that most of the PIKE boys are Hope guys. I walk into the party and know half the attendees. Granted they’re all older than me, but Hope is a small town . . . all the guys know all the girls and vice versa. Clint doesn’t let me out of his sight all night. Great, first real college party and I have a babysitter. I later find out that EVERY girl at the party was jealous beyond reason. Since I grew up around C-Bo (Clint), I forgot how hot he is. And he is HOT; jet black, thick hair, green green eyes, built, fair skinned but could tan well, tall. Apparently they were dying for him to chaperone them, but I had him. Looking back, I was lucky. Hot boy dancing with me all night, kissing the back of my neck a few times when he forgot that he was WATCHING me not JUMPING me. Gah! Will someone offer to babysit me now???
Finally, I’m at work. Ugh. Back to reality.
However, I am now psyched beyond all reason about taking my bum hip dancing this weekend. I can’t wait. Think I can convince Birdie and Crystal to abandon work completely on Friday afternoon so we can drive up early and spend Fri AND Sat night in Memphis???? Maybe I could find a babysitter like Clint . . .