Saturday, January 07, 2006

It's Starting Again

I woke up this morning, lifted my head from the pillow and saw . . . a clump of hair.

I took a shower, washed and conditioned, massaged the scalp, lightly towel-dried and started to comb through - wet hair fell to the floor, over and over.

I had to sweep the bathroom.

I'm going to tell myself it doesn't mean anything.
It's NOT starting again.
It's stress.
It's life situations.
It's my irateness at Anonymous comments to my friends and idiotic judges and people who are parents and shouldn't be when I don't know if I ever can.

It's not happening again.
But it is.

21 comments:

trueborn said...

Babe. I'm sorry. I wish I could give you a hug right now.
I'll pray for ya darlin.

Thomas said...

I'm sorry to hear... on a different theme, have you seen a doctor? This could be telogen effluvium... and they could isolate what's causing it. Just an idea, but my thoughts are with ya, regardless.

janestarr said...

Meg, honey- We are sending prayers, it will be okay...we are with you.

beachgirl said...

Meg- just like we talked about earlier- let's just wait until you talk to the docs Monday. Then we'll take it from there... One minute at a time...
You know I love you!!

Laurie (aka buggy) said...

Meghie! <333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333 (those are sideways hearts). Girl I know you are stressing and I wish I could do something to make you feel better.

Rolligun said...

You've one this fight before, you'll win it again and again and keep winning for as long as you have too. You have everyone in your corner.

Rolligun said...

I on the other hand will apparently never win my bout with spelling. Nevermind.

meghansdiscontent said...

Hey kids, no worries. Really. I was in serious GIRL MOMENT freak out mode . . I got vain for a second and thought of myself walking around as a big fat, bald lady. FREAKED. Sorry.

And to tell you how okay it truly is, I just spent the last 30 minutes curling and primping the massive amounts of hair that I still have. Yes, a lot of it was falling out during the process - but I have tons left to play with. I will NOW go out with my friends, ignore that anything is amiss and drink until I don't care if my nose falls off.

But before then:

Trueborn - Thank you, sweetie. You're a peach.

Thomas - Ha ha ha! Have I seen a doctor?? Which one - my oncologist, my endocrinologist, my . . . and the list goes on. Yes, I've seen them all. We're addressing the issue. This isn't the first time it's happened. Just got worried again.

Janestarr - Thank you, chica. You guys are the best!

Beachgirl - Sorry for crying like a 2-yr old on the phone. I'm cool now, promise. I will wait and see what is said Monday. No worries.

Laurie - I adore you, girlie! Nothing to be done, I promise I'm GOOD. :) I've got too much going for me to let something this VAIN get me down. Damnit! :)

Rolligun - True dat, sir. Seriously though, thank you for the support. I just . . I need to worry more about what's important and NOT worry about how others see me. What's more important - living or being thin and having a lush head of hair?? Fuck em. Living. As for your spelling . . . need some lessons?? We can play Spelling Bee, I'll be the librarian with the big books and you can . . umm, damnit, fantasies, nuff said. You don't happen to find Sinead O'Conner sexy, do ya??

Eunuch said...

Meg-I so wish I could give you a hug and let you know it's going to be alright...know that I'm with you...

Thomas said...

Good to hear! I just instantly bumped into "what I know best" mode to try to reassure! I'm glad to hear you are going out tonight ;)

Coyote Mike said...

Just think of all the stylin' hats!

Many hugs to you, babe.

Laurie (aka buggy) said...

I adore you too girl. I really do. And by the way, Sinead O'Conner rocks when she sings "Nothing Compares." And ya know it's true.

Chairborne Stranger said...

oh, gosh, i hope you are doing ok. i feel for you right now. don't get down and stressed-it sucks!

Rolligun said...

I would love for the "lessons" you could give me, but fantasies create to much confusion for me.

As for the Sinead O'connor thing, I find any female with pressecnce, courage, and expression to be attractive.

And besides, I always pictured you completely hairless anyway.

Rolligun said...

Off subject...I'm thinking about starting a support group, does anyone else have a hard time with those ambigous comment passwords?

There pissin me off!!!!!!!!

Ang said...

Big love babe!! Keep us updated, cause we worry!!

Rolligun-I am glad it is not just me...it often takes me two or three tries.

meghansdiscontent said...

Eunuch - I'll take that hug when you come home. Thank you for your support, sweetie. (PS - I was in Maumelle/NLR last night and thought about you - especially when someone said something about going to Levy)

Thomas - Oh, babe, I go out at least twice a week whether I need to or not! :) Don't worry about me NOT going out!

Coyote Mike - You're a doll. And I look BAD, BAD, BAD in hats - - don't believe me, ask Birdie or Beachgirl. It's badness.

Laurie - True dat, true dat! :)

Chairborne - I'm okay, I promise.

Rolligun - Okay, ixnay the fantasies, roger that. Presence - check, courage - check, expression - check check check. Done and done. As for hairless . . . umm how did you know my grooming habits of . . oh oh oh - you meant my HEAD. Roger.

Rolligun - I hate those things, but they're so necessary. It took me SEVEN the other night on Birdie's site.

Ang - Hugs to you! I promise you guys will be updated and DON'T worry for me! Been here, done this. It will ALL be good.

Laurie (aka buggy) said...

The word verifications are a bitch. I was going to post about this but I never did. I get them wrong all the time!!

Bone said...

Hope all is well with you, Meghan.

Dorothy said...

Hey, sweetie. Glad it appears to be nothing other than a shedding season. That happens whe my thyroid goes into a "storm". I look doofy in hats and will never even pretend to carry it off.

verbs said...

I'm not "in the loop", but will express my hope that you are fine and things are okay, even though I know you not. 'Tis the humanity in me. :)

Take care.