Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Price Check on Aisle Three

I'm currently performing a cost benefit analysis.

Yes, it would probably cost $50,000.00 to have my mother and brother assassinated.
But . . . it would surely be worth a second mortgage on the house, right??
Just think of the years of migraine medications I wouldn't have to pay for.

28 comments:

trueborn said...

Ah come one Megs, not your brudder.
I thought this guy perfect or some such, now you want to go all Don Corleon on his ass. What gives?

Oh I get migraines too. I need drugs quiet and sleep in that order.

Coyote Mike said...

Well, you could pay me off in sex, if your pelvic bones are up to years and years and years of nightly use.

janestarr said...

Wow, coyote mike is straight up!

Honey- not sure if it is worth it just yet, try moving locations and see if that helps first, that might be a little less guilt cost to contend with. Good luck!

mrshife said...

I think you should just put some voodoo spells on them and give them chronic explosive diarrhea. It will be cheaper and more comical.

trueborn said...

Fayetteville Babe.
Fayetteville.

Drunken Chud said...

50g's for a double hit... i would do it for 50 per and make it look an accident so you could collect on the insurance (less 10% for me). or you could just buy those noise cancelling headphones and wear them around when they're around.

qwer said...

I know a guy, who knows a guy who'll do it for 50 bucks. I'm not kidding, a mate was seriously offered that price by one of his students. 50 Rand and he'd kill anyone Kieren wanted dead...ah, Africa. How I miss it.

Jenni said...

Maybe you and me, we could go in and get a group rate...Aww come on now, you'd just miss 'em if you had them rubbed out. What's life without a nasty migrane here and there?

Anonymous said...

Yeah you gotta think about financial rewards to lower the burden. Inheritance or life insurance. Of course you can't take out a policy then have 'em whacked a few days later or those law and order dudes will get suspicious.

meghansdiscontent said...

Trueborn - In the cold light of morning . . . nope, still want to have him taken out. He just, ARGH, it's ALL about him. That's the easiest way to say it. I know that PROBABLY by this afternoon I'll love him and miss him again - but right now, I could whack him in the head with a Louisville Slugger and feel no remorse. Oh, hon, I'm SO sorry - I feel FEEL feel your pain. Whatcha on for 'em? I've done the Zomig route, Maxalt, Topamax, Imitrex and some others.

Coyote Mike - Umm, okay, so, yeah, I . . . something to consider. You ain't no joke, kid.

Janestarr - My sentiments exactly. It is NOT proximity that's causing the problem. Both mom and my bro are 150 miles from me right now. I just NEED to learn not to answer the phone. Or return calls. Nothing good comes of it.

MrShife - With my luck, it would work, and then I'd be stuck cleaning up the messes. But, good idea.

Trueborn - Amen. But - see my comment to Janestarr.

Drunken Chud - Do they make noise cancelling phones??? Or something that makes their voices change from WORDS to that "wah wah WAH wah wah" of Charlie Brown's teacher??

TFS - Hmmm . . does Kieran still have his number???

Jenni - THAT'S my girl! Good thinking. Shall I start calling around?? :) Yes, I would miss them horribly and their deaths would probably kill me, BUT not this morning.

Anon - Hiya! I like the way you think. And, I hadn't thought of it, but mom DOES have a life insurance policy and so does my bro. And I have her will here at the house, maybe I should look at what I . . . oh damnit. I'm a BAD child. Remind me to delete this post and all comments in their entirity later.

Laurie (aka buggy) said...

EH. MEH. GED. EHHHH. MEHHHHHHHH. GEDDDDDDDD!!!!
"Well, you could pay me off in sex, if your pelvic bones are up to years and years and years of nightly use." -C.Mike

Rude Cactus said...

Theres the prison time to consider. You know, if you got busted.

meghansdiscontent said...

Laurie - Thank you for sharing my . . . horror and yet oddly discomfiting interest in what he had to say.

Rude Cactus - Durnit! I knew I forgot something! I would say "I would never get caught" - but this post could serve as proof enough. I'll post from the pokey, kids. It wouldn't be the first time I was in fear of pound-me-in-the-ass prison.

pk said...

With chicks is it still "pound me in the ass" prison? wouldn't it be more like "fish for dinner again" prison?

Rolligun said...

Sorry but I caused a mess in aisle four, what am I missing in this story?

meghansdiscontent said...

PK - Umm . . yuck. And NO fish for me - I'm extremely hygienic. Besides, on the same grossness lines, I thought the whole women's prison thing didn't result in oral . . I thought they all did "fisting."

Rolligun - I could have guessed you were the reason the price check was taking so damn long. What did you spill, break or otherwise damage??

pk said...

Sorry Meghan my comment was uncalled for. Now fisting..... I had a deaf, very large(with huge large hands), lesbian co-worker explain the intricisies of fisting to me one day. It was an eye opener for me.

beachgirl said...

All I really got out of this is that your mad at your bubba... somehow it has turned into mike wanting the S-E-X.. and pk talking about going fishing..

Of course I'm sick at home on another medicine high- so nothing really makes sense to me at this point... hey- I think my tongue is numb again...

Just pay some redneck in the form of a 12 pack or PBR, a can of skoal and a new rifle for huntin season- your brother would "disappear"... but you wuv him so what ever it is, have a drink or the meds I'm on and everything will be fine!!

Anonymous Assclown said...

I am not only writing down your personal info but also the personal info of the people who volunteered to help you.
There's gotta be some reward money in this somehow.

Coyote Mike said...

woohoo!! I made people uncomfortable!!!

Laurie (aka buggy) said...

C. Mike - so you've accomplished your goal for the day? :D

Coyote Mike said...

It's always good to make and meet reasonable goals.

angel, jr. said...

I'm thinking you might need them someday.

auburn said...

We could get a discount if you wanna throw two of my brothers and a father into the mix couldn't we?

I get migraines too. They stopped for a year when i was living overseas. Surely that says something.

Thomas said...

Involuntary committment is legal is some states--and state funded in almost as many. Look into it ;)

meghansdiscontent said...

PK - No worries. As for how you found out about fisting . . yikes.

Beachgirl - Honey, get OFF the drugs. And I so CAN'T believe you brought up some Pabst. Scary larry. I do wuv my brudder, but at times, sheesh.

Anonymous Coward - Patsy.

Coyote Mike - Don't you always???

Laurie - Don't encourage him!

Coyote Mike - Oh boy.

Angel, Jr. - Very rational of you. And true.

Auburn - Appearantly we have several people in our "friends group" that need killings done. I wonder if we can get a group rate? And yes, that DOES say something.

Thomas - Already done! :) I called my med school friends the other night and got the scoop. So sad that we think along the same lines.

Rolligun said...

Ya know, I noticed you were being rather "submissive," were you trying to tell me something, and why did stop only start back up with the mockery?

meghansdiscontent said...

Rolligun - Sweetie, I rather enjoy being submissive in the right situations. Maybe I was . . . hmm, I'll let you judge what I was doing.