Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Random Hits

The Radio

I have a new favorite, bad but good radio station.
apparently Little Rock has some new things on the dial.
The one I located this morning was WB 101 - "Little Rock's old school station"
And boy was it . . .

Shake Your Groove Thing - Peaches and Herb
Superstition - Stevie Wonder
The Pina Colada Song - Rupert Holmes
Get Into the Groove - Madonna

This was the playlist that had me hopin into work this morning.
I admit, I rocked out to some old-school goodness.
My butt's still shakin a bit.

The Revelation

I realized, while talking with a blogger last night, that I mislead people.
I don't mean to do that.
So I'm clearing it up:

It's not that I can't find a man.
I have four in my life right now, and before you ask - yes, they all know about one another. I'm using middle names, kinda, to keep them anonymous.

Blain - 31 - guy I dated in college, we've re-acquainted ourselves, but not sure where it's going. He's not what I want and we know things don't work between us, but every 6-8 months we start talking again. Bad habit.

Drew - 28 - bartender at the bowling alley. We have very little in common, very little to talk about, and no future what-so-ever but he's a very good guy and I have no real reason NOT to date him. Other than there are no sparks. But . . . eh, what can ya do?

Hess - 28 - His middle name is heinous so I'm shortening his first name. I can't keep things with him up much longer. Mainly because he's too metrosexual. If we're on the phone and I jokingly ask "Whatcha wearin, sexy?" he launches into NAMES, not clothes. It's "My Kenneth Cole jeans, my purple Prada shirt, my black Cole Hahn shoes and Kenneth Cole Black cologne." Ummm, "jeans and a button up" would have sufficed. And this is the LEAST metrosexual thing about him.

Dave - 34 - Dave's been in my life for going on 6 years. He keeps asking me to marry him . . . and he's serious. I called him last week in a tizzy about something Hess had done and he again said "Why do you keep fooling around with these idiots? Just marry me and get it over with. Go pick out the ring. As long as it's not over 20,000, it's yours. Go tomorrow." He was serious. He's a wonderful guy, but again, no sparks, nothing there. It's like kissing my brother. Ugh.

Oh crap, I guess technically there's a fifth one, though not really.

I went out with my friend Stephen Saturday night. After many rounds of margaritas, we returned to his apartment and started drinking Crown and cokes. I have NO idea why I did this. I'm sick and shouldn't be drinking at all, but we needed the stress relief. Needless to say, I was a bit tipsy. And BOB just wasn't doing it for me anymore - - and no way was I sleeping with any of the above listed men, so I pulled the ole drunk dial.

Yep, I called an ex. One I hadn't been in touch with in months.
But that never seems to matter.
And we had 4 hours of hotel room sex.
Woo hoo.
Thank God.
The drought was about to kill me.
But then the bombs started:

*BOOM* - "I meant to tell you this before we . . . before this happened, but . . . I'm engaged."

*KABAM* - "I've been thinking of calling it off, because I can't get you out of my head. I've called and hung up several times, I just wanted to talk to you."

*BAP* - "I'm so glad you called. I've missed you. Now we can just start up where we left off."

Oh holy hell.
I can't even have a one night stand without consequences.
I jumped outta bed, dressed faster than I ever have in my life, yelled at him that he's an idiot and he should marry this girl he's engaged to and ran like the wind out the damn door.

He's called 6 times this week, and it's 7 AM Wednesday.
I'm hoping he hasn't been stupid enough to tell the fiancee any of this.

I've scheduled dinner with Birdie tonight to get her take on all this, other than the blogging friend I told last night - - and now, you guys, no one else knows about this.

My other real friends would kill me.
Birdie won't. Because she never met him. She was in New York when he and I were together.
The ex - we'll call him K - never made a good impression on the friends.
In fact, he turned kinda stalkerish (okay, REALLY stalkerish) on me after I called things off.
WHY I chose him for a booty call, I will never fully understand.
Drunkenness does bad things.
It makes you call the guy with the biggest appendage and the best moves in the bed.
Not the guy that would let sleeping dogs lie.

Snow Cones

I feel like a snow cone today.
Rarely am I this colorful.
The sickness has taken a toll and I have about two weeks of laundry piled up.
I'm hoping the maid takes the hint and does it for me today.
However, this means I'm left with only the really happy scrubs and undershirts.

I'm a snow cone.
Pale yellow t-shirt.
Bright aqua blue scrubs.
Bright pink "cotton candy" - no really, that's the color on the label - scrub jacket.

Great, now I'm hungry.
For sugary, frozen goodness.
Do any snow cone places deliver?
In the dead of winter?
With a quickness?


Jenni said...

Drunk dialing and hotel room sex with an engaged man....All I can say is Oh.My.
Oh.My. You are one wild woman!

meghansdiscontent said...

Jenni - OH NO!! I hope you really don't think that! I didn't know he was engaged before it happened, HONEST. And it had been FOR-E-VAR since I had sex, hence the drunk dial . . . I'm not wild. Okay, maybe a little, but NOT like that. More wild as in will drive to Vegas on a days notice. Not sleeps around and calls engaged men.

beachgirl said...

GURRRLLL!!! Apparently we need to talk as well. Yesterday was CRAZY... but I got a phone call last night that made me feel a little better about things in general... I will try to call you tonight after church...btw, do I need to put you on the prayer list?? LOL!!

Coyote Mike said...

I gotta move down there and get on your drunk-dial list. I have no intention of marrying anyone and will be more than happy to boink and release with you ;)

angel, jr. said...

Snow cones are a great snack. I wanted that snow cone maker for Christmas, when I was about 10 years old--it was shaped like a snowman, you put ice into his hat, turned a handle and the snow came out of stomach.
Anyway, are you sure Hess isn't looking for a shopping friend? What guy answers a question like "Watcha wearing" with the word Prada? Not a bit sensual.

Heidi said...

Been there done that...

Well, except it was really a One night stand with a guy I had never met.

Then the girl called me screaming a few weeks later because he had my number in his phone.


Oh well, it happens.

trueborn said...

Two Words:
Male Harem :p

Bone said...

"My Kenneth Cole jeans, my purple Prada shirt, my black Cole Hahn shoes and Kenneth Cole Black cologne."

Haha. Now that's funny. I agree. Sounds like he may be looking for a shopping friend.

Two no sparks, one uber-metro, and one backsliding ex. Sounds like you need to bring in a new contestant.

pk said...

It sounds like the man situation is a lot of work for you. Good luck!

Drunken Chud said...

Drunkenness does bad things.
It makes you call the guy with the biggest appendage and the best moves in the bed.

is that why i no longer get any booty calls from exes... dammit. i need to work on some new moves.

auburn said...

I'm with Bone. You need to go find yourself (or go bump into) a brand new contender. With wit, sparks and a big appendage;)

I've been hit on by this guy who was engaged to a girl i KNOW! He followed me from the bar telling me how beautiful i was and how much he wanted to take me home. Followed me all the way to my car. THEN came to my WORK with HER the next damn night! Some guys are weird.

Thankfully my one night stands have not included the engaged or marrying kind. I feel for you honey, i feel.

But the fact that you've four and a half men in your life...Woah! Jealous much:)

Indiana said...

When you're drunk the only number a phone should let you call is the Emergency one.

meghansdiscontent said...

Beachgirl - I told ya! But you didn't call me after your lunch hour and I'm booked tonight with Birdie and Stephen. Try me sometime tomorrow. Light day - 2 hrs of work and then a whole day of . . whatever.

Coyote Mike - LOL. My drunk dial days are over. Hell, they should have been over YEARS ago.

Angel, Jr. - Did you not have the Snoopy Snow Cone maker?? Screw that Snowman, that's for the birds. I had Snoopy and Woodstock. It was the bomb. I think it's still in my attic. LOVED IT!! As for Hess, trust me, TRUST ME, that boy is straight. He's done everything but part the ocean and rain down sulfer to get me to go to bed with him.

Heidi - How did a one night stand get your phone number??? Good God, girl, I've never had one but I at least know not to give them your number - - or even your real name.

Trueborn - Angel, WHATEVER. As though YOU, of all people, can talk. How many M's are you semi-romantically involved with at the moment???? :) Luv ya.

Bone - Umm, read what I told Angel. The boy is definitely straight. Just very . . . fashion aware. I DO need a new contestant. Care to send in your application and see if you get picked for the show???

PK - I'm so tired of this.

Drunken Chud - Poor baby. Shall I send you a penis pump and a Kama Sutra picture book for dummies??

Auburn - Yes, ma'am, I do need new contenders. And I like your requirements. As for these engaged guys going after women -- damnit, I've almost decided IF I ever manage to wrangle me the right man, I'm putting a ring on his finger. Yeah, he can take it off . . but it will leave a mark. As for jealousy, baby, don't be. You READ what they're like. I'd trade all the men, half my bank account, and part of my CD collection for the RIGHT man.

Indiana - Or your number, sugar.

Indiana said...

Honey, its a long way from AK to my little Temple of Doom. ~grin~ That would be one hell of a Booty Call...and I'm good, but that good!!! (even I would have to question...hang I don't!)

ok its...555....

mrshife said...

Well I hope he doesn't start stalking again, but it looks like he is falling into bad habits by calling so many times already.
Good luck with your man troubles. I hope Birdie helps you sort things out. Take care.

Bone said...

"I've never had one but I at least know not to give them your number - - or even your real name."

Hey, your fake name's not Desiree is it? Still looking for her.


Laurie (aka buggy) said...

Meghie. Just learn from this sort of mistake. It's the only way to be sure your next one night stand is exactly that.
You must have sex with someone you meet THAT very night. Obviously, we all know who looks clean cut and who doesn't. I don't need to lecture you on the dangers of catching syphillis from a stranger.

We've all done the "ex" thing. It's comfortable, it's easy, it's safe (well unless they're still sprung on you like your ex apparently is), and they're usually lookin for the same thing you are.

Drunk dialing when in want of sex can sometimes be completely harmless and okay, but can mostly be a regret. The difficulty of having an ex still in love with you..I need not go into, again, you KNOW.

Maybe it's best he does tell his fiance' he was unfaithful. I mean, I understand the point of not doing it, just pretending it didn't happen, so he can not lose out on his marriage.
But, it seems like she is not going to have a faithful husband as it is, and hopefully she will just figure that out for herself without him even having to tell her.

I feel bad that you were put in that situation! I'd just die (not to make u feel worse)!! I hate the way some men think - would it have been THAT hard for him to tell you this BEFORE you guys did it? Of course, because he wanted to get his and that's how it always seems to be with those types of guys. He's engaged for Christ's sake I just can't get over men like this.

If Sammy did that to me, I'd want him to tell me or SOMEONE to tell me so I didn't make the biggest mistake of my life walking down that aisle.

You need to go on vacation somewhere and have your one night stand there - no strings attached - he'll never find you after that night. I'm tellin ya.

Eunuch said...

One night stands are NEVER just one night, ever.

qwer said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
meghansdiscontent said...

Indiana - TEASE! :)

MrShife - Birdie and I barely glazed the whole K situation. We had too much else on our minds. Odd how you schedule a dinner with ONE thing in mind and end up spending two and a half hours at a table discussing bowel movements, childbirth, cats, futures, pasts and NO one night stands.

Bone - Honey, baby, do you give me no credit for originality? Desiree . . . as if. My fake name is . . .WAIT, I made out with a boy from AL in Memphis about a year ago and gave him my fake. You weren't in Memphis on Beale last year were you? :)

Laurie - I could never do that. I really couldn't. I wish I could, but it's hard enough for me to call an ex. Hell, I havent even slept with many of my exes. Damn my recovering Southern Baptist morals. As for K - - his fiancee DOES deserve to know. She's actually the reason we stopped talking. I think I blogged about this . . . but we were friends (because with a friends label he quit stalking me) and they started dating and she gave him an ultimatum - - her or me. He chose her. YAY! But . . . now . . . this. I wish he had just told me.

Eunuch - Come on, don't dash my hopes like that.

TFS - I'm confused, angel.

Oswald Croll said...

Uuummm, I think you forgot:

Oswald (yes my middle name is Oswald too, Oswald Oswald Croll) - 34 - Mostly just a sex puppet and someone who can reach things on the top shelf. I keep him a secret from the others to avoid jealousy or beatings. I'd describe him in more detail, but how do you explain EXASPERATING. Oh, I guess I just did.

Fell free to go back and insert that.

Just here to help,
Os O. Croll

janestarr said...

Jay-sus Meg, where do you find the time?

Honey, let me just tell you straight, you didn't do anything wrong. Sure he has a stalker history, okay perhaps that wasn't so smart, but if he had any brains, and clearly he doesn't, he would know that drunk dial equals one night of great sex and that's it buddy. I would just tell him straight out that you used him, then he can be all hurt and drama and run back to his fiance or whatever...I think I have lost my point, my point is that sex, although wrapped up in a million moral quadmires, is still something we all need. And there is nothing wrong with that.

beachgirl said...

Half of the phone calls I get from our little meggie begin with, "I have a dilema" ... but I have to say these are the best dilema to have... Men are like shoes, you can never have too many...

BTW, Megs, I had a GREAT lunch... The meeting went VERY well... I'll call you with details later...

Steph said...

And people wonder why i'm doing the "man free zone" thing right now!

MappyB said...

Oh my God. The 'bombs he dropped on you. You should of said, right after he announced that, 'that's cool, i actually used to be a man. so this was my first time as a woman'. hahahaa. then watch his face. :)

Chairborne Stranger said...

Holy cow, girl, the things you are up to?! Lol, I'm always laughing when I stop by. Male harem, indeed. Lol.

Coyote Mike said...

where does one sign up to be part of the male harem?

meghansdiscontent said...

Os - Angel, you're so right. How could I have left you out??? Only I would never call you exasperating.

Janestarr - Honey, I don't. I cut the herd this weekend. We're now down to two. And even that is too much. And Amen. We all need sex. I'm just not sure I can go another few months without it . . . and I've learned NOT to do the ex thing. Great.

Beachgirl - Well, yeah, they do start like that. I always have a dilemma. Damnit. Screw the lunch, I want to know how the evening went!!!

Steph - You're smarter than me.

MappyB - Unfortunately, since we were together over a year, he knows almost everything about me. I couldn't think of anything to shock the poor bastard.

Chairborne - Welcome to the train wreck I call my life.

Coyote Mike - You have to fill out an application, babe.

auburn said...

Okay girl. We need to get you another assistant so you have time to blog!

Miss you.

Drunken Chud said...

if you're gonna send me a penis pump and a kama sutra picture book for dummies, at least i can offer to pay the shipping. so, you can send it COD.