The Romantic Bi-Polarist
Definition - One who divides their thoughts between two ideas: The first - “the one” is out there and one day soon, I will find them and live in love. The second - I am destined to be alone.
I think we all have a touch of romantic bi-polarism.
Some take it a bit further than others.
Such as myself.
I probably spend most of my time on the latter idea.
Most being defined as 2/3rds of my time.
The other 1/3rd of the time I am certain I will find him.
Tomorrow, next week, next month, next year.
Just bide my time, stay available for him and he will come.
But that latter idea is what sticks.
The one where I look around and see my family and friends so happily in love.
I count my single friends on one hand.
And I begin to think:
I am destined to be alone. I found him, I lost him and now here I am.
And here is not so bad.
It’s just lonely.
It’s the hope versus honesty.
Optimism versus realism.
If he comes, he comes and I will be overjoyed.
I will leave my life for him, if I must.
I will sacrifice everything I have, if it’s necessary.
If he doesn’t, he doesn’t.
And I will be happy regardless.
Find joy in those things I do have.
And not despair over those I don’t.
Remain complete in myself.
Despite my pocket of emptiness.
Because it’s just a pocket.
And I am so much more.