Thursday, February 16, 2006

Mortified

I got up at 5 AM.
Got showered.
Got dressed.
Went to work.
Was finished by 9.
Because I’ve learned I’m a much happier person if I work only 35-40 hours a week.
And I had clocked 32 hours before today.

So, I came home.
And decided to get ready for my lunch appointment.
I had to be pretty because it was a business thing.
Trying to get another therapy contract.
So . . . another shower is in order.

I put on a terrific (if I do say so myself) burned CD.
Turn it up and jump in the shower.
Get clean.
Get dried off.
Put on undergarments.
Decide to dance around the house to the music for a little bit.
To let my hair semi-dry on it’s own before subjecting it to the heat of a hair dryer.

So, there I am.
Black lace, boy-short panties.
That you can see straight through.
Matching push-up bra.
To accentuate the area.
Thus making the male client focus more on my chest than my price negotiations.
It’s a strategy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I’m a horrid person.
But if it saves me some cash, I’ll subject myself to it.

I’m shaking it for all it’s worth.
Dancing around at 90 miles per hour.
Head whipping around like I’m having a seizure.
Singing, at top volume, with the music.
Local H - Bound for the Floor.

I’m in the middle of screaming:
"And you just don't get it, you keep it copasetic.
And you learn to accept it, you know you're so pathetic.”

And I pause the dancing because I think I just shook a hip out of place.
No, really.
Anyway, so I look up and

BAM

There’s my brother and some hottie guy standing in my kitchen.
Laughing their asses off.
And I scream: “Bloody fucking hell!”
And tear to my bedroom to grab a robe.

Apparently they had come over to borrow the Super Nintendo.
They let themselves in the back door with the maid’s key.
Because “Ringin the bell wasn’t working. You had the music too loud.”

Just great.
Mortified.

34 comments:

beachgirl said...

LMAO!!!! That is too funny!! If I had been drinking something, it would have spewed out of my nose!!!

Laurie (aka buggy) said...

EH. MEH. GED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Meghie!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You poor devastated girl!!!!!!!! I get flustered when someone catches me dancing around like that fully clothed!!!!!!!!!!!!
And leave it to him to come in the middle of a random Thursday for a Super Nintendo. Jesus Christ.
EHMEH..I can't even imagine how horrifying that must've been for you. HOw embarrassing on many different levels. It wouldn't have been half as bad had it only been your brother. But an outsider! That's what makes it mortifying I think.

My poor, violated Meghie. :(

"AND YOU DON'T!!! AND YOU DONNN'T!! AND YOU JUST DON'T GET IT!!!"

meghansdiscontent said...

Beachgirl - You really DONT understand how upset this made me. Some strange man, gorgeous at that, saw my Who-Ha. Not to mention my epileptic behavior. Oh jayzus.

Laurie - Thank you for the appropriate amount of horror!!! Damn these college kids! Don't they have like class or something??????? And of course, there I stand in my see through underwear. The guy is probably scarred for life. Oh holy hell.

And thank you for continuing my song, baby girl!! Don't you just LOVE it??? The perfect dance your ass off to a rock song, song.

Rolligun said...

I would've love to have been there, not cause I care about your undergarments and negotiation habits, but I can't believe you busted out "bound with the floor" that song is ten years old or so, and is still a favorite.

Maybe your not such a bad person after all.

meghansdiscontent said...

Lead Pipe - You don't care about my undergarments?? Color me disappointed. However, babe, that CD rocks: Local H, Powerman 5000, Union Underground, Metallica, Greenday's best song ever - Brainstew, etc. It may be the only CD I EVER burned that I still love ALL of. Bad person?? Because I dominate your blog??

beachgirl said...

sorry megs, I know it had to be a completely mortifying experience and I shou;dn't have laughed.. but if it had happened to me, you would have done the same thing!!

Black lace boy shorts?? I'm more of a thong girl...laurie, what about you??

Rolligun said...

Oh Meghan, Brittany whoever the hell you are...I think I made it quite clear who is in control of my blog!! It's still me.

{Scracth Head}
(am I losing control of my own Blog??)

Where was I?? Oh yes, you are probably the most interactive person who comments on it, which I do like,

{Scratch head}
(where the hell am I going with this?)

ugghh...just leave me alone.

Wait I got it!!!

No I don't care about your undergarmets and I would really appreciate it if you would stop sending them to me, or atleast wash them first. They don't really serve a purpose in the war y'know.

{I feel a little bit better now.}

Barry S. said...

meghan, you had me at black lace, boy-short panties....

I really appreciate your attention to detail with the matching set and all.

Way to go, girl.

Drunken Chud said...

ooooh! ooooh! pick me! pick me! *hand raised* ooooh! oooh! i care about your undergarments! i care! i do!

gotta say... slightly aroused at the visual. yep... there it is again... beautiful thing...

beachgirl said...

Rolli- you be nice to brit... and I think you DO care about the undergarments, as all men do... see chud's response...

Barry- southern women take pride in their undergarments!! ;)

Jenni said...

I would soooo be on the war path...OUT TO GET MY BROTHER if he did that to me!!! There would be death and destruction once I got some clothes on, or maybe waited to get him alone so that there would be no witnesses for his painful demise.

Indiana said...

~stiffling laughter~ That type of shit always happens in front of the hot guys ~grin~....RFLMAO...hahahaha

trueborn said...

let me tell you what my older sister would've done.

Throw shit.

There would be no way I would make it out of the room fast enough to not get something crammed in my ear. Take a page from my older sister.

kick some ass!

auburn said...

OMG we are like twins or something! When our house was on the market I had literally stepped out of the shower and put on my black lace boylegs and matching push-up bra before stepping out in the hallway to see the REAL ESTATE AGENT and PROSPECTIVE BUYER standing there. Staring. The fucker had brought client around because I WASN'T ANSWERING THE PHONE. NOT COOL! They're not ALLOWED to do inspections without permission. I was mortified!!

That is but ONE of the times I have been caught in my undergarments. I've opened the door to one of my brother's friends in a pink floral number because i thought it was my brother. Turned out my brother was just parking the car.

Fuckers.

You poor darling. I feel for you. I feel sick for you. Throwing shit at the wall for you. But at least you was looking hot with that beach-hair and push-up bra. :)

Was your hip okay???

meghansdiscontent said...

Beachgirl - No worries, babe. I'm laughing about it this afternoon. And yes, black lace boy shorts. It depends on the outfit. I do the thong thing, but only if I'm going to show a line otherwise. I don't own that many of the boyshorts, but I LOVE them. Very comfy, very pretty and relatively fully coverage so I don't feel like a floozie.

Rolli - Control, um hm. Okay. Interactive person - yes, yes that's me. I know you like me. You wouldn't be stalking me so much if you didn't. When are you going to tell these people you got back to the States months ago?? And, people, I don't send them to him. He steals them out of my washing machine. It's really quite sad. Poor boy, he's just so smitten. Who can blame him??

Barry S. - LOL, honey, as BG says below, this is the South. We pay a LOT of attention to our undergarments. Lest we be found in a car wreck with something ugly or tattered. Our mommas would kill us all over again. (And it came in REAL handy when the EMTs had to CUT MY SHIRT OFF ME at the wreck site IN FRONT OF THE DAMN WORLD last year) - THANK YOU MOMMA.

Chud - Luv, of course I will pick you. Keep your pants on. No, really, keep your pants on.

Beachgirl - When are you going to learn that Rolli operates like most men . . . on the fourth grade level. Him "punching" me up there was his way of showing me he lurvs me. :) And good comment to Barry, babes!

Jenni - I had, originally, planned to never speak to my bubbahead again. But Laurie made me miss him something FIERCE about 20 mins after the whole thing occurred. I hate loving that kid. It makes me forget too much.

Indy - Don't make me kill you.

Trueborn - I'm not the throwing stuff kind of girl. Wait. That's a lie. I throw stuff. But not over that. Were I naked - you know ALL bits hanging out (or down) with no support, were I in (sorry guys) "period panties" and a sports bra, were I any fatter - his ass would be grass. But, I was in VERY attractive undies, I'm having a "skinny" day and I was mostly covered. So I forgive him. Because I lurvs him.

Auburn - HONEY!!! That's so me!! This is NOT the first time this has happened, gosh, not by a long shot. It was just MORE mortifying today because . . . because it was today! :) Poor girl!! Did you fire that RE agent on the spot or at least demand an extreme reduction in commission??? Bastard. As for hot . . umm, well, sure, why not. :) Hip was fine. I just keep forgetting that I can't do everything I used to do. Damn broken limbs. Thank you for asking, babe.

i said...

damn girl! got me all hot with the description of your underwear.. the dancing.. the tossing the hair.. then way to bring me back to reality!!! :D

sometimes all you can do is laugh!!

hope you had fun though!! :D
xo iain.

Coyote Mike said...

I haven't ever had someone walk in on me in my undies, but my father has an annoying habbit of coming over to my apartment (without calling) right when I have sat down for a "deuce", knocks on my door, waits for a minute, then leaves just before I get to the door. Then, I know he always looks from the street to see if I have come to the window, then he comes back up.

But it is always when I have just sat down. It sucks!!!

Ang said...

My cheeks burn for you!

At least you had what you did on! I tend to dance around nacked after my showers...dry naturally you know!! yeah, so more than one ackward moment!!

Thomas said...

Hahahaha... at least you had hot undies on. I'm also glad that somebody else still listens to Local H!

Scorpy said...

I'm with Indy....Classic ~still ~laughing~...I can feel tears welling up...it made my day. (PS: Hide the Key!!!!)

Steph said...

Ahh Megs, we're cut from the same cloth. I love your style!

Drunken Chud said...

why does EVERYONE always want me to keep my pants on?! just ONCE i'd like to be told to take my pants off! i hates me some pants.

qwer said...

Hmmmm...Rolli, should I tell Megs about your ebay store...or do you want to? ;o)

angel, jr. said...

too funny

Coyote Mike said...

Chud, you may take your pants off, but you have to stay in a different room from the rest of us.

meghansdiscontent said...

i - ha ha ha. Welcome to my world . . . fantasy interrupted by reality. :) I did have fun, until I was frozen by embarassment.

Coyote Mike - What the hell is a deuce??????

Ang - Oh honey! Don't I know it! 9 times out of 10, I'm naked as a jaybird. I got LUCKY.

Thomas - Local H is/was the jam! I will still be listening when I'm 86.

Scorpy - Hiding the key won't help that much! Lil bro has a garage door opener and a key of his own. He was just in hot guy's truck . . . so he used the maid's key. Damnit.

Steph - Ditto, chica, ditto.

Chud - Ah, babe, I'm sorry! :)

TFS - Do tell! Do tell!

Angel, jr - yeah, I guess. ha ha ha

Coyote Mike - Umm . . . different STATE. Not just room. STATE. Please.

Rolligun said...

Steal them from you?? Why would I need to do that...everybody has a pair.

TFS...Thank you for support, I need to start making friends with some dudes, but anyway before we get to that, go ahead and lay down some suppresive conversation while I flank from the left.

ETA 0330

Drunken Chud said...

mike, thank you. i can do that.

megs... why do you try to hurt me so? i'm sensitive or some shit.

Laurie (aka buggy) said...

wow the comments been rollin in!!
beacgirl - I'm a thong girl...I do own a pair of red lace boy shorts which I sometimes substitute as underwear when I've run out of the hiney ones.
But yes, mostly a thong girl.

Although really..since we're talkin bout this...when I'm hangin around just at home I prefer hiney underwear. Because sometimes I don't feel like having stuff up my ass.
'=p

Laurie (aka buggy) said...

oh and Meghie - a "deuce" is another word for a shit.

qwer said...

Well if you go to www.omgmegsundiesforsalequickbuybuybuy.com you'll find an interesting selection of your underwear as "acquired" by Rolli. They come with a certificate of authenticity, which includes the date that they were "acquired" from you laundry hamper/washing line as well as a picture of you, autographed by Rolli.

Rolli, female friends are fine mate. I really don't think there's a market for selling any guys underwear online.

qwer said...

ROFL! Laurie, please please please can I sell that to a marketing company?! I'd love to see women's knickers advertised with the tag line "Becasue sometimes I just don't feel like having stuff up my arse..."

That would be fantastic!

Laurie (aka buggy) said...

TFS - yes, but I'd appreciate it if you shared the loot with me. I'm a strugglin girl with bills to pay.

Rude Cactus said...

Ouch! Still, a funny story...and up until that point? Kinda hot ;-)