Tuesday, February 14, 2006

The Rantings of a Crazy Woman

Indiana revealed something on his post yesterday.
Not just about him, but about humanity in general.
And it made me question.
When did the truth become the one thing we could never say??

I go off on my rants and raves constantly.
I know I do, I deal with them.
But it makes me so angry that we live our lives veiled from one another.

Alana tonight said of Birdie and I:
“You guys are so mean to each other.”
And maybe we are.
But we don’t even realize it.
It doesn’t hurt between us.
Because we know who we are.
And we’re honest with each other.
I sure did call her out tonight about her pants.
From a distance they looked Linen.
You can’t wear Linen in February.
Not in Arkansas.
It’s not permitted.
And she calls me out on things, too.
And you know what, I prefer it.
This is a SMALL thing. This is a materialistic, worthless, inane thing. (the pants)
But we do it with everything.
EVERYTHING.
This is just a meager, poor example.

Be honest with me.
Tell me the damn truth.
I may not agree.
I may get angry.
I may be hurt.
But at least I KNOW.

Feelings, thoughts, ideas, beliefs.
I want them all.
From whomever is in my life.
Because knowing, FOR ME, is always better than wondering or guessing.
No matter how painful.
No matter how damaging.
No matter how destructive.
I would rather know.

Because there are worse things than truth:

Hope

Don’t let me hope I’m well, if you know I’m sick again.
Don’t let me hope that your interested, if you’re only humoring me.
Don’t let me hope I look good in red, when I look like the broad side of a barn.
Don’t let me hope I can help, when you’re really not listening.
Don’t let me hope I can change, when I will always be who I am.

I would rather have truth.

18 comments:

Coyote Mike said...

You and Birdie sound more like sisters than friends :D

Truth is good, but I'm still gonna believe in hope sometimes.

Laurie (aka buggy) said...

Girl I totally agree. You and Birdie are exactly like Melissa and I.
We NEED our friends to be HONEST with us at all times. I feel secure knowing she'll be the first to call me out on somethin, and I hope I give her that same sense of safety.
Especially with men. No one wants to hear that the person they are with sucks, but sometimes you just have to tell your friend. "Hey, that guy is a freeloader and he's spending all your money on pot."
True friends are blunt.

meghansdiscontent said...

Coyote Mike - Wonderful observation. She may as well be my sister. She is the female version of what "Todd" is to me. I still don't know how either of us functioned when she was in NY. Let's just say thank heavens for email, cell phones and IM.

Laurie - Chica, I could have guessed you would!! Speaking of sisters . .. . :) And you're so right. If we can't AT LEAST be honest with our friends, WHO can we be honest with. I got on my soapbox in Indiana's comments and then STILL didn't feel vented enough. I had to come here and ignore the two things I was going to post today to post this. I'm SO glad you're back, by the way. I missed you!!!

auburn said...

I totally agree. Sometimes the truth hurts, sometimes the truth is not what you want to hear. Often truth is an absolute bitch.
But I would much rather be momentarily stung or even crushed, than live a life believing in things...believing in people or believing in something false.
I've hidden so much from people who just didn't care enough (or didn't want to care) to get to the truth, that now I can sometimes be far too honest. Because I never want to get to the point where the people around me are ignorant, indifferent or just don't want to know the truth of me.
I've had people hide and veil the truth from me, and it just hurts so much more in the long run.
I want to know.
I don't want games. I don't want false smiles. I don't want to be hugged and told somethinig is okay when we both know damn well that it's not.
I don't want lies. I want honesty.

I think I'm going to have to cut and paste this into my blog too honey.
Love your thoughts:)

Indiana said...

Truth and honesty in all things tempered with Tact is of course the path to walk...

And the great thing about being honest, you never need to remember who you lied too.

Drunken Chud said...

heh, that's why i love my friends. two of the greatest things ever said to me that made me laugh harder than anything had in a while.

i was getting into my buddy kyle's car and he out of nowhere, "wow, chud, you're looking very... ... not skinny today." i think i hit my head on the door i started laughing so hard.

then, walking into the bar a month ago with my brand new track jacket my buddy rev, "dude, what the fuck? you wanna borrow my dad's old 'members only' jacket for your next night out?"

i hear ya meg...

meghansdiscontent said...

Auburn - have I said more than five to ten times lately "I love you" . . . because I do. You nailed EXACTLY how I feel. And you did it better than I could have. Keep the games, keep the smiles, keep the hugs, keep the words. JUST BE. BE WHO YOU ARE AND WHAT THAT IS. I'm so tired of everyone tip-toeing. STOMP. Please. For me. I would rather you trample me than float around me. It's the imperfections that make us perfect - not the concealers we slap on everything that someone might see as a blemish.

Indiana - ha ha ha, you do amuse me to no end. You start this war and then you give us succinct brevity. Hugs, babe, hugs.

Chud - OMG! Amen! That is Birdie. That is me! LOL - you will appreciate this. My brother's roommate Cody said to the other roommate Matt (while listening to a great song): Hey dude, if you could play guitar like that, I bet you could get someone to sleep with you. Matt answered: I get girls to sleep with me all the time. Cody: I can't believe that. There aren't that many stupid women out there. ME: Cody, I think you underestimate the amount of women who will give a decent looking guy with no brains a pity fuck. (blunt, brutal honesty)

I love those boys.

Ang said...

It is the line that seperates true friends from mere aquaintences.... I have enough aquanences!!

meghansdiscontent said...

Ang, gorgeous, I promise to be your FRIEND. :) Even if it makes you hate me sometimes. Yes, ma'am.

Drunken Chud said...

meg i am honestly smiling ear to ear after that little story. that is so something said between my friends and i. the worst is when i meet someone new and i forget i haven't known them for years... sometimes they think i'm a little mean. but that only happens to one in every four people i meet. hehehe.

Drunken Chud said...

and what the hell are you doing up this early? i have an excuse, i haven't been to bed yet.

meghansdiscontent said...

Chud - Glad I could make you smile, kid. As for what I'm doing up so early . . . ah the joys of business ownership. I'm up at least 3 days a week at 4:45. Shower, pour my orange juice, take my medicine, sit down, check faxes, check email, answer my comments and then drive to work. Fun fun. Not in bed yet?????

Coyote Mike said...

I was accused of meanness for two comments I made to a certain just-turned-18 female cousin of mine. First was "I hope the tattoo you get isn't one of those stupid "flower on the middle of your back" ones that every sorority girl in the last 10 years has gotten. They look so freakin stupid!" (which is what she got)

The other had to do with her getting into the college I work at. "Don't be surprised you got in. They take just about everybody with a room temperature IQ." She's smarter than that, but still.

I do the same thing as Chud. I say brutally honest things to people, usually before they are ready to hear them from me.

pk said...

So in other words you would like your relationships with other girls to be more like the relationships guys have with each other.

Kate said...
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Kate said...
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Kate said...
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Steph said...

The truth may hurt. But lies hurt much more.