They say when it rains, it pours.
And it’s been pouring on my head for the last few weeks.
Just to list a few of the showers:
Mom’s scare with breast cancer and subsequent surgery.
My own surgery.
Being held at knife point for $4.00.
The death of a friend.
Two traffic tickets.
And the latest in the showers . . . my heart was ripped out and stomped upon.
BUT, I have no one to blame there but myself, so don’t cry for me Argentina.
I allowed myself my big pity day yesterday.
I drove myself crazy waiting for calls that didn’t come and emails that never surfaced.
I cleaned anything that stood still long enough and wrote everything under the sun.
And then determined, ONE day of pity is quite enough.
Yes, I’m still so in love it hurts . . .but that doesn’t matter at all if it’s not reciprocated.
SO, I’m taking the advice of some amazing friends and a page out of our own dear Trueborn’s book and moving so fast that I can’t stop to feel the pain.
Before you ask, I swear all these guys KNOW the score.
Tonight: Coffee with Bryan.
You remember Bryan.
Gorgeous, articulate, educated model who knows when to just sit there and be quiet.
Perfect man, just not perfect for me . . . but we’ll see if that matters.
Tomorrow: Dinner with Andy.
I can’t remember if I ever blogged the Andy scenario or not.
He’s NOT bartender Andy.
This is another Andy.
He’s beautiful, intelligent, sports addicted and driven.
Long story as short as possible, we met, he took my number, he never called, ran into him again, he said he lost the number, took the number, three weeks without a call, called, few missed calls and phone tag, and by the time he caught up with me again I was immersed in The Someone. So I told him no on the dating front and stifled any romantic interest but talked every now and again as friends.
Saturday night he was a Godsend.
He talked to me on my drive - AS A FRIEND - and when I was lost for 45 minutes in Memphis, he offered to come get me.
Yes, ladies and gents, he was going to drive 2+ hours JUST to lead me back home.
I declined, because home wasn’t where I wanted to be.
And he wasn’t who I wanted to be with.
I needed to find the right direction in terms of both issues.
He also called several times over the weekend, and texted, to check on me.
And he was there Monday night through my tears and frustrations.
And last night, “just to make you smile.”
So, as a Thank You and as a Congratulations for the new job he accepted last night, I am cooking him a meal Thursday night.
He’s bringing the Merlot.
Friday night: Robin’s BIRTHDAY!!!! Happy Birthday, most beautiful, most wonderful, bestest friend on the damn planet!!
I will be cooking for Robin and a few of our close friends at my humble abode.
And possibly, trolling out to a bar later for randoms? :)
Saturday night: I acquiesced to Will, finally.
Shortly mentioned in a previous post.
We dated for a short while this fall, mainly consisting of us attending AR Razorback football games, but whatever.
He’s a great guy but things became complicated when he accepted a job that required him to be out of state three weeks out of the month.
We decided to end things and be friends.
But he’s been hinting at more lately, and I’ve been denying because of The Someone.
He just HAPPENS to be in state this week and I agreed to meet him for dinner and drinks.
He knows about the heartbreak and swears he won’t take the date as a promise of anything more.
Sunday: The Big Mistake
AKA Mr. Clean
AKA I have a friend who decided to tell you that you’re not all that.
I kept running into him when The Someone and I started our little tryst.
I made it clear I wasn’t interested in starting anything again.
Even a friendship.
But guess who joined my gym?
And called yesterday to inform me of his joining.
And was nice enough to tell me that he would schedule around me so we wouldn’t have to see each other.
But I told him it wasn’t a big deal and I didn’t mind seeing him.
And the conversation turned to different places . . and we’re seeing each other Sunday afternoon.
Stupid, quite possibly.
But why the hell not.
If I’m not sitting at home, alone, then I’m not thinking about how I’m still In Love with The Someone.
I’m out, I’m having a good time, I’m forgetting that the last month has been Hell on Wheels.
And today . . . well, today has been wonderful so far.
I have spent my travel time jamming out to the Comfort Music I purchased for myself.
(When you’re upset about something, feel free to buy 6 or 7 new CD’s)
My kids, at work, have been great today.
The weather is beautiful and I’m cutting out early to go grocery shop for the food stuffs I need to make dinner for Andy and then again for Robin's birthday festivities.
Then I'm going to help my pregnant friend move some of the furniture in her house and get ready to paint the nursery.
Then I’m going to hit golf balls with my brother and his roommate.
All before meeting Bryan for coffee.
Life goes on.
Might as well go with it.
Sitting around pitying yourself hurts no one but you.
Even if inside you’re still ripped in half.
My heart may still be waiting for a sign, any sign, but my body and my mind are getting on with their lives.
PS - Robin, you were TOTALLY right, Nickelback was worth it and I was dancing so hard to "Animals" on the way to work that I'm surprised I didn't break something. Also, FlyLeaf is rocking my world. You're awesome!!