Thursday, April 13, 2006

Am I Now An Official Fraternity Member?

Warning: This post has no point.
I'm not even sure it has a discernable ending.
I just had a really fun night and had nothing else to blog . . . but was chastised for not blogging enough lately, so you did this to yourself.

I am SOOOO tired.

2:30 AM - fall into bed.
4:45 AM - alarm goes off.
4:46 AM - I reset alarm for 6:45 AM and fall back into bed.
4:47 AM - I realize that I HAVE to see my 6:30 kids today because the center is closed tomorrow for Good Friday.
4:48 AM - I roll out of bed and get ready for work.

Bubbahead called me at 3:30 yesterday afternoon and asked me to come by his place after work.
He misses me. Ain't that sweet?
I've got the best bubbahead.
So, when I get off, I wander over there.
Only to find him, Cody and Military Mike washing vehicles.
They offer to wash mine while I play with my Kady-dog (the cutest puppy on the planet, in case you were wondering).

Before I know it, we're Redneck Central.
The guys are all in nothing but shorts and flip-flops.
We're sitting on the tailgate or in the bed of one of the trucks.
We're drinking beer - or they are, rather. (I'm on alky restriction, durn medications! I'm not such a big drinker anymore, but a cold beer on a hot afternoon . . . gosh!)
We have one of the vehicles with a "sound system" cranked to some old school rock.
This is what you do in the South when you don't have a porch.
It sounds a lot worse than it is.
It's actually Heaven.
Warm sun, good music, cold beer, good friends, hilarious conversation, great music.

My pseudo-date for the night had been abruptly altered . . . long story.
Just know that some guys play games.
And this one has been playing games since before Christmas.
Funny how when The Someone emerged on the scene, he was all attentive.
Men! Throw a little competition in there and suddenly you all become WAY more attracted to the girl. So damn predictable.
Anyway . . . the point is, I was free for the evening.

Somehow, the idea comes up that we need to go out.
How did I get dragged into this frat boy outting?
Well, a myriad of reasons:

  • Since I can't drink, and don't much anyway, I could be a designated driver.
  • The boys seem to think that having a girl around increases their chances of meeting girls.
  • My bubbahead thought that having me around would be a calming influence on AT . . . who had gotten his finger cut off and been hospitalized last weekend because of a bar fight. (and this is NOT the first time this has happened . . . and this kid is 24, so not a kid)
  • One of the kids had been hitting on me all afternoon, and my brudder thought it was HILARIOUS and wanted me to "Keep leadin him on, it's funny."
  • I have the biggest vehicle, thus we can all go together instead of having to take 2 or 3 automobiles.
  • For whatever reason, my brudder likes having me around. And I like being with him.

Original Plan: Go to the Rivermarket. Plan altered. Bubbahead's ex (whom I've already threatened to kill without remorse) was going to the Rivermarket with some pledge sisters. Uh uh, not happenin. I'm all for having fun, but the chances of me being imprisoned were too great. And my bubbahead knew it.

New Plan: Holy Hades, we're going to Millenium.

Bubbahead thinks drunk bowling is a GREAT plan. I'm in mortal fear because things did NOT end well with the bartender I was dating there. I'm real tempted to call two of the other guys I know there (who still talk to me, amazingly, even though their friend and I . . umm . . yeah, just not good) and see if he's working. But then realize that's juvenile and paranoid and just think, "Hmmm, you'll just stay out of the bar area. Bowling lanes only."

By the time we're all showered, primped and ready to roll, we've got: Me, Cody, bubbahead, AT, Military Mike and Brian. Don't ask me why the guy who just had his finger sewed back on thought he should go bowling. Didn't sound like a good plan at the time. Turns out, it wasn't a good plan. Goodness, big surprise there.

Military Mike - spitting game at me like there's no tomorrow. Umm . . doesn't this 22 yr old realize that Yes, there are only three, actual, chronological years between us . . . but I have a business, a mortgage, a retirement plan, in essence OCEANS are between our two continents?? Not to mention he's my LITTLE BROTHER'S FRIEND! Jayzus.

AT - gets so drunk he FORGETS that his finger was just sewed back on. Tries to bowl with his injured hand. Surprisingly, (and yes, we had bets on this) his finger did not go flying down the lane stuck in a ball. BUT, the pain from the incident caused his temper to mellow and he did NOT try and fight ANYONE in the joint.

Cody - proves, yet again, that he's one of the best and most fun guys on the planet. He plays air fiddle to Dixie Chicks, he grooves down to 50 cent, he head bangs to Metallica and he dances with me (NOT anywhere NEAR the dancefloor/bar area . . because I'm a chicken) whenever I start dancing and he doesn't drink because he doesn't want me to feel like the only abstainer.

Bubbahead - proves, yet again, that he doesn't have an ounce of protectiveness in his body. He just lets Military Mike spit his game and laughs everytime he does something inappropriate. He also gets very drunk and bowls a 47. How do you bowl a 47??? Especially when you TOOK bowling in college???

Brian - spent all night textmessaging some girl from his phone. According to the guys, he has NO chance with this girl. . . but hopes that, if nothing else, his persistence will at least get his foot in the door.

Brittany - can't really say anything about Brian because she was bombarded with text messages of her own. And answered them. All. Because . . .umm . . I'm addicted to text-mail. I'm in a 12 step program. I'm working on my problems. When I'm not text messaging, I am: Bowling badly, dancing with Cody, dodging Military Mike, watching ESPN on the big screen and avoiding looking at the bar at all for fear that I will make eye contact with someone I know.

Random: Mr. I Have to Cancel Our Date Tonight Because I Have a Family Emergency texted me at 10:30 PM with: "What are you doing?" Answer: "Out with friends." Return: "Wanna come to Little Rock." Answer: "Why?" Return: "I got bored. I'm at the Cowboy. Feel like dancing?" Answer: "No, have fun. Don't get raped . . . or roped." What the hell is wrong with Andy? Is he on crack? He's Mr. Perfect and attentive during the whole The Someone thing . . . I cook him dinner and we have a fabulous date where I manage NOT to break down. I don't hear from him for a week. When I do hear from him, it's a random textmail. He finally calls and asks me out again. Four days later he's a text messaging fool for me. That lasts two days. Then we're supposed to have our date and he cancels. Only to textmail me the same night and ask me to come meet him at the club?????? HUH?? Will SOMEONE please explain men to me?

But it's my fault. The boy is sex on legs. So I let him do this crap. JAYZUS, he's hot.

Anyway. Back to the Night O Fun at Millenium. The boys bowl badly, even more badly than myself, seeing as how I beat all of them . . but Cody. They behaved themselves in a realatively decent manner considering the amount of beer ingested, the amount of women they hit on (quite successfully, I must say) and the amount of trashtalking they did to the Hillbillies in the lane next to us. All in all, it was a good night. Minus the Andy confusion and the Military Mike debacles.

I hate to admit it, but I might actually LIKE the bowling alley again. If I had any friends (other than my brother's friends) who would go with me, but I don't, I would make a habit of this.

PS - Robin, ha ha ha, I am almost 90% sure that I saw Mr. I Fell Asleep In My Car Waiting On You to Come Out boy. And the reason I'm 90% sure of it, is because he was with Mitchell - Kasi's make-out partner #2 from that night. I almost roused you from bed to come up to the Millenium. Oh boy. Woo hoo! Are you SURE you never want to set foot in there again?? Cause the boy could dance . . and he was relatively attractive. Come on, girl, you know you wanna go bowling. :)


Coyote Mike said...

I need a night like that.

Jenni said...

Nuthin like a night of tail-gating and bowling with frat boys to cheer a girl up!
And the guy cancelling the date and then calling for you to meet him at a club...WTF!?! That's totally screwed up.

mrshife said...

Sounds like a good night. Hope you got caught up on your sleep. And bowling a 47 is really, really bad even if you are hammered.

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