Sunday, April 16, 2006

What the Hell is This? Web MD?

Insomnia Therapy.
That's what I'm going to refer to this as.
And yes, he knows I'm posting it.
THIS is what happens when you and one of your best friends (or whatever he is) both manage to be unable to sleep at the same time.
Sad thing, Robin heard all about this and . . . dah dah dah dah . . . she AGREES with it.
Anywho . . .

Some notes you might need:
Inevitably, if I go to Wendy's, I get the dollar menu salad. It's good. Sue me.
NU is one of my most favorite restaurants in the world.
I never go there.
The last time I was there was New Years.
Because it's $100 a plate.
That's without drinks, without anything . . just three small courses.
But it's SO good.
The rest, the rest is self explanatory.



BRYALN: I have figured out what your problem is
Meghan_louise: I’m amazingly talented and gorgeous, not to mention intelligent beyond all reason?
BRYALN: dont be sarcastic about yourself now is not the time
Meghan_louise: Ouch.

BRYALN: Im trying to be serious stop joking
Meghan_louise: Yes, sir. What’s my problem?
BRYALN: you dont expect anything
Meghan_louise: That’s a pro. . . wait . . . what the hell does that even mean?
BRYALN: its like this most women Ive dated demand things like $200 dinners at NU
Meghan_louise: I love NU.
BRYALN: I know you do but you would never ask me to take you there
Meghan_louise: No, that would be ridiculous. It would cost $200.
BRYALN: thats my point most women dont care if its going to cost the guy $200 its their proof that we care about them you, youre perfectly happy if I take you to Wendys and get you that dollar menu salad you always order

Meghan_louise: Uhhh . . and this is a BAD thing?
BRYALN: yes
Meghan_louise: Let me get this straight. Because I’m a low-maintenance date, it’s a bad thing.
BRYALN: yes
Meghan_louise: You’re out of your godforsaken mind. I thought men WANTED low-maintenance. I’ve had guys tell me that they didn’t ask me out because they thought I WAS high-maintenance.
BRYALN: think about it like this youre not just low maintenance on dates if it were just dates, that would be one thing but its everything you dont expect anything nothing good anyway you go to the doctor expecting bad news you answer your phone expecting bad news youre not a pessimist which is incredibly weird considering you always expect the worst but youre always very upbeat and happy and everyone elses cheerleader but for you you expect the worst

Meghan_louise: Because when I go to the doctor, it always is bad news. Because 7 times out of 10, when my phone rings it is something bad: something at work is screwing up, my brother’s having a crisis, my mother needs something, the doctor’s calling, blah, blah, blah.
BRYALN: this still is not the point
Meghan_louise: What is the point?
BRYALN: that Im not a Wendy’s dollar menu salad

Meghan_louise: What??? You’ve lost me.
BRYALN: you dont think you can have me you don’t expect me because to you Im dinner at NU youre used to Wendys salads thats why you date losers because you expect losers you think thats what you deserve Wendys salads Im not a Wendys salad I’m NU
Meghan_louise: Ooooookkkkkkaaaaay. Still not seeing where this is going.
BRYALN: you treat yourself to NU every once in a while right?
Meghan_louise: Yep, I do.
BRYALN: so why not treat yourself to me?

Meghan_louise: Ah, but you’re forgetting a very important point.
BRYALN: whats that?
Meghan_louise: Everytime I go to NU, I end up paying for it.
BRYALN: so you think you’ll end up paying for me?
Meghan_louise: One way or another, yep. Nothing’s free. Wendy’s salads, you get what you pay for. NU, you love it . . . but in the end, it ends up hurting - - cause that was $200 that could have been used for something more important. And everytime you eat it, you start to get used to it and you want it more. It’s not a delicacy thing anymore. It’s something you expect and want. And before you know it, you’re spending $200 every three days on something that’s only going to hurt your bank account and your waistline.

BRYALN: now youre the one losing me
Meghan_louise: What if you wake up and realize that you really are NU and I’m a Wendy’s salad deserving kind of girl. So you go find a NU girl. Someone who deserves you. And I’m ruined forever because I got used to NU and NU doesn’t want me anymore. I’m blacklisted from NU. No more NU for me. You become the NU Nazi. NO NU FOR YOU!
BRYALN: hahahaha baby we’re off-track but that’s normal you don’t think you deserve anything and I think you deserve the world

Meghan_louise: You’re too good.
BRYALN: finish it
Meghan_louise: Finish what?
BRYALN: that wasn’t the end of that sentence
Meghan_louise: That was the end of that sentence.
BRYALN: No the end of that sentence was you’re too good ... for me
Meghan_louise: Yep.

BRYALN: I hope one day you wake up and see yourself for what you are
Meghan_louise: I don’t have to. People have already shown me. If I was what you think I am . . then I wouldn’t have been so easy for others to cast aside.
BRYALN: I’m calling a psychiatrist for you when I get back
Meghan_louise: :) ha ha ha
BRYALN: laugh it up baby but were going to fix this self esteem thing youve got goin
Meghan_louise: Good luck with that.

12 comments:

trueborn said...

Ah yes, a good man.
He knows what's up.
You can't fool him and that bothers you babe.
You can't pull your stunts.
He sees through them.
Being vulnerable is a bitch ain't it?
You're worth it Babe.

Drunken Chud said...

screw NU, i'm GNU. $200/plate. so... forget about that dud and get with me. you can pay for it too. either way. your pick.

Scorpy said...

Ditto Trueborn! This guy has you pegged and I even think at times that you may have pegged yourself. Thta is the greatest romance analogy that I have everread...can't wait for more intriguing tales...(PS: Happy Easter)

Thomas said...

What does NU serve... and why is it so good? I'm a cheap date too... expensive things are reserved for hunting and traveling.

meghansdiscontent said...

True - NOW you have Scorpy agreeing with you, too?? I swear! You're right though. I can't fool him. He knows me. Completely, totally and utterly knows me. And I'm so vulnerable that it scares me. But NOT for the reasons you guys assume.

Chud - LOL. Um hm. Playa, playa, please.

Scorpy - Happy Easter!!! And believe it or not, I have myself completely pegged. I just opt not to do anything about it. :) Masochistic, isn't it?

Thomas - Ummmm, yummyness! The last time I was there I had . . umm . . Lobster bisque to begin, Rosemary chicken in mushroom sauce with asparagus and jalepeno cornbread and for dessert peach torte with homemade icecream. They give you a menu and you have to choose amongst 5 choices for each of the three courses. They change the menu constantly and it's always WONDERFUL. Their gourmet chef is amazing. BUT, that doesn't mean I'm going to spend that all the time! Having said that - - I'm going to Gypsy's Friday night this week . . which is just like NU. It's tradition though - - Stephen and I ALWAYS go to Gypsy's before going to the Med School's Skit Dance.

Trix said...

I'm with True & Scorpy, here, chica. He's not letting you get away with anything...and I think he's terrific for it.

Allow yourself a little happiness, honey. You certainly deserve it.

Steph said...

If only you saw yourself, the way we, and others who know you better, do.

meghansdiscontent said...

Trix - Gee, Trix, imagine that . . .you're with the Love of your Life and his twin. Go figure! :) And you're right, he is terrific at not letting me pull my bullshit routines on him. I adore that boy beyond reason. BUT I don't know if I can ever be in love with him. And thank you!

Steph - Oh girl, you mean how I see YOU and how everyone else sees you . . but you have trouble seeing it to. I think we're only blind with ourselves. And it's a preservation thing.

Coyote Mike said...

Men do want to fix everything they see around them. For some reason, we don't seem to be able to understand the beneficial art of listening. He seems to have a bit of an inkling that someone to listen is what you need (his comment about taking you to a psychiatrist) but seems (just from what you wrote) unable to understand how to slip into that role himself. I've tried to train myself to be an observer and listener, objective and removed, but it is very hard. Many is the time I have listened to some woman tell about a heartbreak and my instinct is to find the one who hurt her and break off pieces of him. I know in my rational mind that just sitting there quietly, listening sympathetically, and not telling her what I think she should do is the best thing I CAN do.

It is a struggle that all men go through. With patience and a judicioucly applied louisville slugger upside our heads, we can learn.

Anonymous Assclown said...

"BRYALN: I have figured out what your problem is"

#1 - this is the dumbest way ever to start out a conversation. From the sounds of it, he's the one with the problem.

#2 - the Wendy's/NU analogy is stupid (I should know - I'm the kind of stupid analogies).

#3 - He's wrong and maybe even a little destructive with the little "you're not into me so you must need psychiatric help" theory.

#4 - if he'd shut up and listen, he'd know what was going on.

Anonymous Assclown said...

should read - "king of stupid analogies"

meghansdiscontent said...

Coyote - Teach other men what you have learned. Some need it. :) Maybe you could add it to your syllabus in your classes.

Anon Coward - Because you're a professional, I will bow to your knowledge, sir. (and I think we knew you meant king - Thank you for fixing it though, I hate typos)