That's what I'm going to refer to this as.
And yes, he knows I'm posting it.
THIS is what happens when you and one of your best friends (or whatever he is) both manage to be unable to sleep at the same time.
Sad thing, Robin heard all about this and . . . dah dah dah dah . . . she AGREES with it.
Anywho . . .
Some notes you might need:
Inevitably, if I go to Wendy's, I get the dollar menu salad. It's good. Sue me.
NU is one of my most favorite restaurants in the world.
I never go there.
The last time I was there was New Years.
Because it's $100 a plate.
That's without drinks, without anything . . just three small courses.
But it's SO good.
The rest, the rest is self explanatory.
BRYALN: I have figured out what your problem is
Meghan_louise: I’m amazingly talented and gorgeous, not to mention intelligent beyond all reason?
BRYALN: dont be sarcastic about yourself now is not the time
BRYALN: Im trying to be serious stop joking
Meghan_louise: Yes, sir. What’s my problem?
BRYALN: you dont expect anything
Meghan_louise: That’s a pro. . . wait . . . what the hell does that even mean?
BRYALN: its like this most women Ive dated demand things like $200 dinners at NU
Meghan_louise: I love NU.
BRYALN: I know you do but you would never ask me to take you there
Meghan_louise: No, that would be ridiculous. It would cost $200.
BRYALN: thats my point most women dont care if its going to cost the guy $200 its their proof that we care about them you, youre perfectly happy if I take you to Wendys and get you that dollar menu salad you always order
Meghan_louise: Uhhh . . and this is a BAD thing?
Meghan_louise: Let me get this straight. Because I’m a low-maintenance date, it’s a bad thing.
Meghan_louise: You’re out of your godforsaken mind. I thought men WANTED low-maintenance. I’ve had guys tell me that they didn’t ask me out because they thought I WAS high-maintenance.
BRYALN: think about it like this youre not just low maintenance on dates if it were just dates, that would be one thing but its everything you dont expect anything nothing good anyway you go to the doctor expecting bad news you answer your phone expecting bad news youre not a pessimist which is incredibly weird considering you always expect the worst but youre always very upbeat and happy and everyone elses cheerleader but for you you expect the worst
Meghan_louise: Because when I go to the doctor, it always is bad news. Because 7 times out of 10, when my phone rings it is something bad: something at work is screwing up, my brother’s having a crisis, my mother needs something, the doctor’s calling, blah, blah, blah.
BRYALN: this still is not the point
Meghan_louise: What is the point?
BRYALN: that Im not a Wendy’s dollar menu salad
Meghan_louise: What??? You’ve lost me.
BRYALN: you dont think you can have me you don’t expect me because to you Im dinner at NU youre used to Wendys salads thats why you date losers because you expect losers you think thats what you deserve Wendys salads Im not a Wendys salad I’m NU
Meghan_louise: Ooooookkkkkkaaaaay. Still not seeing where this is going.
BRYALN: you treat yourself to NU every once in a while right?
Meghan_louise: Yep, I do.
BRYALN: so why not treat yourself to me?
Meghan_louise: Ah, but you’re forgetting a very important point.
BRYALN: whats that?
Meghan_louise: Everytime I go to NU, I end up paying for it.
BRYALN: so you think you’ll end up paying for me?
Meghan_louise: One way or another, yep. Nothing’s free. Wendy’s salads, you get what you pay for. NU, you love it . . . but in the end, it ends up hurting - - cause that was $200 that could have been used for something more important. And everytime you eat it, you start to get used to it and you want it more. It’s not a delicacy thing anymore. It’s something you expect and want. And before you know it, you’re spending $200 every three days on something that’s only going to hurt your bank account and your waistline.
BRYALN: now youre the one losing me
Meghan_louise: What if you wake up and realize that you really are NU and I’m a Wendy’s salad deserving kind of girl. So you go find a NU girl. Someone who deserves you. And I’m ruined forever because I got used to NU and NU doesn’t want me anymore. I’m blacklisted from NU. No more NU for me. You become the NU Nazi. NO NU FOR YOU!
BRYALN: hahahaha baby we’re off-track but that’s normal you don’t think you deserve anything and I think you deserve the world
Meghan_louise: You’re too good.
BRYALN: finish it
Meghan_louise: Finish what?
BRYALN: that wasn’t the end of that sentence
Meghan_louise: That was the end of that sentence.
BRYALN: No the end of that sentence was you’re too good ... for me
BRYALN: I hope one day you wake up and see yourself for what you are
Meghan_louise: I don’t have to. People have already shown me. If I was what you think I am . . then I wouldn’t have been so easy for others to cast aside.
BRYALN: I’m calling a psychiatrist for you when I get back
Meghan_louise: :) ha ha ha
BRYALN: laugh it up baby but were going to fix this self esteem thing youve got goin
Meghan_louise: Good luck with that.