Whomever left the comment below about my absence being secondary to the addition of a new man in my life must have been male.
Only males think that a woman’s world stops because he enters her life.
I assure you, there is no new man.
My life has been turned inside out, upside down and sideways lately.
Work has compounded, once again.
The beginning of the summer months always brings with it an onslaught of social requirements, not to mention re-certification and licensing seminars/conferences.
And my health, per usual, has not been cooperating with my needs.
What are the chances?
But to give you an idea of the schedule of the last weekend/early week:
4:00 AM to 7:45 AM - Emergency hospital trip.
8:00 AM to 10:00 AM - Off and on attempts to sleep off the effects of the hospital trip while fielding phone calls, faxes and emails questioning my absence from work and replacement therapists.
10:00 AM - purchase of concert tickets.
10:30 AM - brother bursts into the house to procure concert tickets and will not leave until I agree to shower, dress and accompany him on a shopping expedition/ lunch outting.
4:00 PM - return home.
5:00 PM - leave for a Girl’s Night Out.
5:30 PM - Midnight - Dinner, movie, etc with females. Somehow the dinner turns into a "Men are dogs, especially my husband/fiancee/boyfriend" whine session. Since I have no husband, fiancee or boyfriend, I can only lend a sympathetic ear and caustic comments.
Midnight - 3:00 AM - read "The Great Influenza" and watch "The Lion in Winter" because I can’t sleep due to the pain in my back.
8:00 AM to 11:00 AM - Business conference.
11:30 AM to 6:30 PM - cliff jumping, diving, swimming, boating, etc at the lake with friends - ill advised, I know, but I wanted to swim, durnit. I wanted to dive. I wanted to hurl myself off a cliff. I wanted to pretend for a few hours that I was normal. Sue me.
8:00 PM to 2:00 AM - Stephen’s medical school graduation festivities and subsequent celebration.
5:12 AM to 8:30 AM - Emergency hospital trip. I love it when they know your name when you walk in the door. Wonderful. Shouldn’t I get a discount with this much regularity?
9:00 AM - Church with Jeff and Ashley.
12:30 PM - house cleaning, laundry, etc.
3:00 PM - trip to Lowe’s with my brother where his friends pimped me out to one of their co-workers. Despite my extreme argument against such activities, not to mention my complete non-cooperation. Now, a 32-yr old Lowe’s employee thinks I may acquiesce to a date. Ummm . . my interests lie elsewhere - in fact, much further elsewhere. But a big "Thanks" to Burkes and Gabe for making my already convoluted love life more complicated. You guys are wonderful. I mean it. I should bake you cookies. Punks.
4:30 PM - landscaping, anchoring trees, spreading mulch, washing vehicles, other outside activities.
8:00 PM - get kidnaped by Gabe and Burkes to my brother’s house where the boys are cooking out, drinking beer and discussing how they are going to get the 32 yr old Lowe’s employee to buy them alcohol for setting him up with me. Lord save me. Please. Really. They do realize that when he calls and I don’t answer the phone, they won’t be getting any reward - right???
1:00 AM - return home, converse with a friend until 2:30 AM because I can’t sleep. Pain has become rather excruciating, yet I refuse to go to the hospital . . . again.
3:48 AM - give up, drive myself to the hospital. When they still haven’t released me by 8:00 AM, I surreptitiously use my new Blackberry and stealthily hidden cell phone to convince friends and relatives that I’m at work (and co-workers that I took a personal day to go to the lake) so that no one will worry.
11:00 AM - released. Home. Lie around, wait on the stupid pain pills to wear off so I’m not a zombie bride.
2:00 PM - begin to get ready for Stephen’s going away party.
3:00 PM - go to save my brother. Gabe has text mailed me that brudder is at Lowe’s and can’t find his truck keys. Find out it’s all a ruse to let Kevin see me dolled up for a night out (as opposed to pony-tailed, no make-up, in athletic capris, sports bra and a t-shirt to perform landscaping duties). Blame Hydrocodone and Skelaxin for convincing me to believe such an obvious lie to begin with. Cunning fraternity boys.
4:30 PM - arrive at Stephen’s, cry a lot because my best friend of 8 years is moving 13 hours away, repair damaged makeup and travel to the going away party while planning ways to move to Cleveland without anyone but Stephen noticing. Ummm, right.
6:30 - 9:30 PM - Going away party - where I come to terms with the fact that Stephen really is going to leave me. He really, really is. And for the last time at a social occasion in Arkansas, pretend to be my gay best friend’s girlfriend . . . since there are STILL only a handful of people who know he is gay. (And his young adult church group isn’t included in that handful. Neither are his parents.)
9:30 - 10:00 PM - cry uncontrollably while driving home because I have had no sleep, my best friend’s leaving and life seems to stink pretty much in general. Plus, I don’t want to retake the licensing exam and the Praxis to become certified to perform therapy in Ohio - at least not right now. So much for moving.
10:00 PM - arrive at my brother’s to be comforted by him and Burkes, instead get random hugs, awkward boy moments of "What do we do with the crying girl?? Ummm . . hurry, get her a beer. Uh, she can’t have beer, umm, put a puppy in her arms." and finally start to laugh until I can not breathe when Burkes decides the only way to cheer me up is to put on really loud rap music and dance around me like a crazed lunatic. Sometime during all this I manage to semi-lie to a man via phone. So as not to make him worry. Is it worse to hide problems from someone who can’t change them, or just dump them all on him and hope he will not worry?? Hide. Hide. Hide.
11:30 PM - arrive home and converse with a friend because I, again, can not sleep.
2:30 AM - finally fall to sleep.
4:30 AM - alarm goes off for work.
6:00 AM - 2:00 PM - work. The day is cut short when I discover my afternoon appointments at one particular center have been cancelled, without my knowledge, for an impromptu field trip to the zoo. Monday off and an 8-hr day on Tuesday?? Has Hell frozen over??
2:30 PM - meet brother in Little Rock to return half the things he purchased on his shopping trip Friday.
5:00 PM - can no longer ignore the fact that I’ve urinated blood throughout the day and break down to go to the hospital. Again. To pee in a jug, as per instructions received at LAST hospital visit.
7:00 PM - dinner meeting with therapists which turns into a 3 hour bitch session fueled by alcohol. None of which I can/should/do drink.
10:00 PM - arrive at my brother’s house to drop off presents purchased for him . . just because he’s my brudder. Drive brudder, Gabe and Burkes crazy because I’m delirious from no sleep combined with narcotics and think it’s hilarious to wander around, a la "The Little Rascals" singing: I’ve got two pickles, I’ve got two pickles, I’ve got two pickles, hey hey hey hey. I have NO idea why this popped into my head, why I thought it hilarious to repeat it over and over or why they laughed so hard at it forever before finally going "Seriously, it was funny the first twenty times, now you just sound crazy." They leave for a night of debauchery - inviting me along, I politely refuse, knowing that if I were to go . . . it would lead to badness.
11:00 PM - home, again. Can’t sleep, again. Converse with friend until 2:00 AM, again. Cycle repeats.
Interesting life, yes?
See, no new man.
Just drug induced delirium, insomnia, lies by omission and general busy-ness.
With some "Little Rascals" thrown in for fun.
Nothing particularly blog worthy - hence the hiatus.
But look at me, bowing to peer pressure and blogging NOTHING of any import.