Thursday, May 04, 2006

Damaged: Part V


He called two weeks later.
"Is this Alexandria?"
"I’m on the do not call list"
"Telemarketing. The do-not call list. I can report your company."
"I’m not a telemarketer."
"Oh. Well. Then . . . who is this?"
"Todd Jackson. We met at Jason’s birthday party?"
"Ah. The Air Force guy with the girlfriend."
"Without the girlfriend."
"I take it the rocks finally froze over?"
"You could say that."
"Who gave you my number?"
"Melody. Is that okay?"
"Would you hang up if I said no?"
"Is anything ever easy with you?" he laughed.
"Once in a blue moon."
"It’s okay, I like a challenge."

A week later she consented to a date with him.
A month later they were falling into bed.
She had just one rule.
She wouldn’t ask him questions about his past.
And he couldn’t ask her.
"Anything in the past is there for a reason. I don’t want to know about on-the-rocks-girl or whomever was before her. And I doubt that you want to hear my sordid past."
"Works for me."

She didn’t tell him about the trips to the hospital.
She made excuses for her absences.
She had a class.
A group meeting.
An intramural game.
She was in the library with her phone off.
Anything to keep from him that she was sick.
She didn’t tell him about Chad either.

She was almost asleep.
His voice broke the silence.
"What are we doing?"
"Lying quietly."
"I mean between us. Are you seeing anyone else?"
"Are you going to ask if I’m seeing anyone?"
"Are you?"
"Do you care if I do?"
"We’ve never talked about being exclusive."
"I thought it was implied when we started sleeping together."

She thought a while before responding.
"I’m not sleeping with anyone else."
"Neither am I."
"Just tell me if you do. So we can decide where to go from there."
"Are you saying that I CAN sleep with someone else?"
"I have no hold on you."
"Neither of us are ready for that."


Anonymous said...

Why do so many of these stories read so scripted? It's almost formulaic.

Does this look familiar?

First, the guy has to have some stupid pretext to get near the girl. This is typically how the conversation progresses.

Guy: Lame comment.
Girl: Cutting reply.
Guy: Applauds cutting reply, tries to make own witty comment.
Girl: Acknowlede limited wit from guy, makes further cutting comment.
Guy: Concedes defeat, make introductory offer, asks for further interaction.
Girl: Comments about noticing being propositioned.
Guy: Stupid comment.

etc... etc... etc...

Oh, there must be exs continually in the picture, and they must be stalkers who phone often. Occasionally girl will capitulate and have sex with ex, express remorse, with many proclamations of "WHY?"

meghansdiscontent said...

Good question.
Probably because I keep repeating my past.
It takes something to break the cycle.
And if you don't like it, don't read it. . . I could care. :)

Thanks for your observations though. I hadn't realized the monotony of my relationships. Hmmm . . .

Anonymous said...

I like to read your stories. It makes me feel like candy. I like candy. Mmm, candy.

Indiana said...

Ok Britt, you see the cycle, so what is the 'something' it will take to help/make you break the cycle?

You once asked: When you start a relationship are you scared it won't work, or that it will?

Are you entering each new cycle expecting it all to fail, and therefore looking for situations in which your desired outcome is met?

Faltenin said...

It's not a monotonous cycle. I think it's a normal phase in any relationship: "do you feel the same way as I do about this?" And "if you tell me how you feel about it, would it influence how I feel about it?"...

meghansdiscontent said...

Anon #2 - LOL. Thank you very much.

Indy - I like to think that I don't enter them thinking they will fail. I certainly didn't enter the last one thinking that, and I think you know that. But I've thought a lot about the things you've said in the past and today . . and the truth is, if I entered into the one you would like me to - I would enter expecting it to fail. Because it did previously. So instead of setting myself up for that . . I'm going to try something different and new. Maybe it will help me break the cycle.

Fal - You have a very valid point.

Carl from L.A. said...

There is nothing inherently wrong with events happening over and over again - it's the nature of the universe.

The key is to be able to identify and break the cycle.

Ever seen an episode of The X-Files where the same day happens over and over again? (The episode is called "Monday") The cycle broke only when someone slowly realized what in the little things that actually mattered in the routine and changed them, to make things right again.

PJ said...

we continue to attract ourselves to the same types of situations, people and circumstances until we see ourselves differently.

Anonymous said...

Gee, some real profound insight here.

"It's a cycle!" No fucking shit? Hey, maybe we'd better order a pizza, have a group hug, and ask Dr. Phil what to do about it.

birdie said...

Why all the anger? How very annoying. If you don't like, don't read. Very simple.
Also, you didn't need a comma before that last 'and.'
Just saying.