Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Damaged : Parts II and III


He flipped her onto her back and pinned her there.
"You’re not going to walk out here and fuck me into forgetting that that happened. What’s your damage?? We’re going to talk."
She laughed at him, it was a hollow sound.
He let go of her hands and she ran her nails across his stomach.

"What do you want, Alex? Do you want me to pretend that didn’t happen? Just lie here and let you make love to me like nothing went on?"
She trailed her hand further down his stomach, following the trail of hair there.
"Damnit, answer me."
She laughed again.

He fell back against the headboard and sighed.
"I don’t get you."
She just watched him.
He slid down and settled in among the pillows.
"I’m listening."
She shook her head and leaned down to him again.
Licking where her hand just traced.
Sliding her way up his chest.
Sucking lightly where his pulse was in his neck.
"Alex, please."


She just wanted him to take her.
She didn’t want to think.
She didn’t want to feel this.
She couldn’t see the questions in his eyes, it hurt too much.
She wanted him to hurt her back.
He still couldn’t understand.
She didn’t have the words to explain it.
She just teased him, hoping he would take over.

"Fine, Alex, just fine. If this is how you want it, fine."
He grabbed a handful of her hair and drew her mouth to his.
He kissed her with bruising force.
She felt her teeth cut into her bottom lip and tasted the sharp tang of blood.
She moaned, from pleasure this time.
His fingers dug into her hips and she knew she would have bruises tomorrow.
He lifted her off of him and forced her down into the mattress.
She felt his knee wedging itself between her thighs and his fingers forcing themselves inside her.
"Is this what you want? You want me to hurt you? Just talk to me. Tell me to stop and this won’t happen."
But she wanted it to.
The pain would make her feel.
She just wanted him inside her.
She didn’t want him to make love to her.
It wasn’t right.
But the pain, the roughness, it made sense.
It was her punishment.

She felt his fingers moving stronger inside her, stretching her, almost tearing her.
She moaned again.
Louder this time.
He took his fingers out and moved to take their place.
She felt him slam into her.
The brutality of the thrust caused the pain to take over for a second.
She screamed.
But he kept going.
His strokes growing harder and deeper with his anger.
She yelled her climax and felt him spill himself inside her.
"Jesus, Alex, you’re going to kill us both."
She closed her eyes and slept.

The alarm clock’s blare woke her.
Todd must have forgotten to turn it off when he got up.
She could see the steam coming from the bathroom.
She walked in and examined herself in the mirror.
She had finger shaped bruises on her hips, the inside of her thighs and her upper arms.
Bite marks peppered her shoulder and chest.
Dark spots of blood raised to the surface where he had sucked too strongly.
She saw him standing behind her.
"You look like you’ve been hit by a car. God, Alex, I didn’t mean to hurt you like that. I was just so angry and you wouldn’t talk to me."
"I’m okay."
"That’s all you have to say?"
"There’s something wrong with you. I wish you’d let me help."
She turned her back on him and got in the shower.


Jenni said...

A broken heart and pain...many depths of it all. You paint it very, very vividly.

Coyote Mike said...

I think these posts should come with some sort of Surgeon General's Warning or something.

janestarr said...

I loved this, in the way you feel moved when you recognize yourself, your past, and your pain, and the avoidance of such pain. Catharsis is the theme of late...watch Shopgirl with Steve Martin...see what you think.

Carl from L.A. said...

My past relationships still haunt me to this day.

meghansdiscontent said...

Jenni - It gets worse before it gets better, but not as graphic, I promise.

Coyote - What would they say??

Janestarr - You're the third person this week that's told me that. I'm going to have to look into it when I get a free minute! Thanks!

Carl - But do you regret them?

Carl from L.A. said...

At the time when the relationships broke up, it was always the right decision. But years later as I grow wiser and can handle things in a much more mature manner, there is always the "What if's".

ChickyBabe said...

I don't have much to say for now. But I wanted you to know that I'm reading... and I'm very touched.

i said...

wow.. Im blown away..

the way you wrote that put me in that same room with you.. not in a perverted way though.. :) .. amazing..

Coyote Mike said...

*WARNING* Blog Entry Will Make Uncomfortable Emotions Emerge and Confuse You As To Their Source.*

Trix said...

Holy crap, lady. This has my brain reeling.

Indiana Jonesing said...

Great and hard writing.

Anonymous said...

I may know this Alex too

meghansdiscontent said...

Carl - What ifs are useless. Try and remember that. :) Even if we all do them.

Chickybabe - Thank you for letting me know you're here. Your opinion means a lot to me.

i - Thank ya, handsome. We'll see if you're still as intrigued by Part 7.

Coyote - LOL.

Trix - THAT is a compliment. You're too hard to reel . . . wow.

Indiana Jonesing - Welcome! And thank you.

Anon - I'm intrigued. . care to say more?

Drunken Chud said...

ok, i take back my statement on the prior post... THIS ONE IS HOT! that's just hot. wow. screw the inner turmoil, that's fuckin heat.