As I climbed the last step into the loft of the barn, I wondered if I had bitten off more than I could chew. I had always wanted to buy a huge old barn or even (as sacreligious as this sounds) and old church and turn them into a house. The houses of today are too sterilized, too cut off, too winding. I wanted big open spaces. Ceilings so high your voice echoed as you spoke. Something with character. Something thatI could make my own, but something with history behind it. I stepped from the ladder to the wooden floor and fought to stay upright. I felt his strong hands grasp my upper arms to stop my slide.
"Angel, be careful. I don't know what you're doing in those shoes." The slick bottoms of my kitten heels weren't conducive to wooden planks lined with remnants of hay, but I didn't know that we were going to be here. We had decided at the last minute to take a Sunday drive. The heat of summer was fading into an autumn crispness that was just right. We rolled down the windows, opened the sunroof, turned on some music and enjoyed the ride. We'd gone miles before a word was spoken. None were needed. But he had spotted the For Sale sign before I did. "Angel, look." he had almost whispered it through the smile that had graced his face since we slid in the car. His finger pointed at the massive red barn surrounded by acres of empty, green field. I just nodded and he knew. We were taking a detour.
"You want it." His lips were so close to my ear that the words were almost a kiss. "Am I that transparent?""Angel, you should see your face. Did you know that there are tears in your eyes?" I lifted my fingers to my cheek and wiped the saline trail leading to my chin. "I didn't know until you told me. It's just .. . this is it. This is perfect. It's not too far from the city, so the commute wouldn't be bad. It's massive so there is plenty of space downstairs to divide with half-walls and brick partitions to make bedrooms and a living room and a huge study for you to write. Oh . . baby! And there's plumbing and electricity already, maybe someone had the same idea that we did. It wouldn't be that much more work. And we could turn the loft into our own private haven. It's so huge. We could have a sitting area/library over in this corner and divide this other one off for a huge walk in closet and put our bed right by the loft door and put a window in behind the door so we could have the sunlight and . . . It's just perfect. Please. Please, will you think about it." He wrapped his arms around my waist and squeezed. "It's very big, sweetie. Do we really need all this room? And we don't know how much they want for it. Who knows if it's structurally sound." He paused for a minute as she twisted her head to look at him again. "Baby, I can't tell you no when you're this excited. We'll talk to them and see what they're asking. But we still have to be practical. What are we going to do with all this space?"
I didn't say one word. I just moved my hands down to where his arms rested on my waist and took his hands, drawing them up to my stomach and pressing them there.