So, I’m minding my own business this morning, perusing the online news before reading my daily papers when I discover an article entitled “Love is . . . a pair of really good jeans.” According to Reuter’s “for most women, the choice between sex and a new wardrobe is simple - - they go for the clothes.” What???
The article went on to say that women polled stated they would give up sex for 15 months for a closet full of new clothes. Three percent said they would give up sex for three years for new clothes! And again, I exclaim, What???
Now, typically, I attempt to refrain from discussing sex on my blog. I don’t want relationships or fornication to be the focus here. That’s not to say I’m against either of them, or blogs that are about them, not at all. It’s just to say I don’t want that to be my content base. However, I’m breaking that rule today.
Are these women INSANE?? I can barely go two weeks without sex. Particularly if it’s GOOD. Let alone great. I’d trade my complete wardrobe – and it’s a pretty damn good wardrobe, if I do say so myself – for ONE night of mind-blowing sex.
Luckily, I don’t have to. I manage to have both. But that’s not the point.
The point is that these women have lost their ever lovin’ minds. This part:
Sixty-one percent of women polled said it would be worse to lose their favorite article of clothing than give up sex for a month.
"Some people say clothes make the man, but the right clothes can even replace him," fashion designer, stylist and TV personality Carson Kressley from the reality TV show "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" said in a statement accompanying the poll.
The study also suggested that clothes often wear better than relationships.
Well, let’s just say that this part bowled me over. Men being replaced by clothes??? Is THIS what we’re coming to?? Honestly . . . Seriously. . . No kidding . . .
No wonder marriage is at an all-time failure rate. Apparently, a vast majority of women would rather have an amazing pair of Melani shoes than an outstanding man.
Well, to those women, I want to say thank you. Let me reiterate – THANK YOU! You take your new jeans and stilettos. Leave the outstanding men out there for those of us with SENSE to find.
While I'm Internally Yelling "WHAT?????" . . . .
One of my six year old therapy kids wowed me with this lyrical masterpiece during "Song Time" in therapy today. Brace yourself. This is strong stuff:
My girl's got a girlfriend
And we be breakin' girls in
If you don want my dick up in her
Keep her way from here then
I would like to thank Young Dro and the (cough, cough) parents of this child for that musical highlight of my day.
My Mom's Insane, It's a Good Thing I'm Nothing Like Her, or ummm Exactly Like Her, Whichever
My mother purchased a brand, spankin', new Toyota 4-Runner in August.
She has maybe 7,000 miles on it TOPS.
She calls me Saturday to inform me that she wants to trade it in.
"I'm just not happy with it. I should have bought the Sequoia like yours, but I couldn't see spending an extra $15,000 for it."
Ummm, yeah, so, umm, what's changed now? Other than the fact that you're going to spend MORE money. You're gonna go upside down in the 4-Runner AND pay the extra $15,000 for the Sequoia, so instead of just the extra fifteen to begin with you're now probably talkin' an extra eighteen or twenty.
Whatever, chick. It's your retirement fund. When it's gone, it's gone. Don't come cryin to me. You and dad can sell the house and live in your ginormous vehicle. I'll bring you cans of food from Price Saver and extra blankets when it's cold. Kisses!
And, yes, I realize I drive the exact same ginormous vehicle - but there's (to quote my brother) "still a chance she might have a family some day and need all that room." She's had her family. Us. And, in case she hasn't noticed, we've been out of the nest for a while.