Monday, February 12, 2007

Slacker, Thy Name is Meghan

Warning: Rambling Ahead

I would argue that I'm not truly a slacker, but you wouldn't believe me.
I could offer excuses of mountains of paperwork, a batch of new therapy kids, family visitations and relationship obligations, but you could care less.
You want a new post, you want it now and you don't care what it's about.

Okay, so only two of you have emailed me missives to that extent, but two counts as a mob these days!

I've been slacking. At least in regards to my house and my blog.
Thank heavens for the maid or I would be living in filth. This is completely untrue, I'm a neat freak . . . but I do abhor dusting, mopping and vacuuming - so filth in the sense of dirt.

Ms. Sizzle will have a heart attack but, brace yourself, my Christmas tree is still up.
I keep meaning to take it down, honestly, but it makes me sad and I don't have the time.
They should put trees on casters so you can just roll it across your house into an unused room or spacious closet to hide it from the view of those who may be offended. I know I said I would have it down by Valentine's, but forces conspired against me. It's not my fault! I can't be held accountable. Ummm . . can I move that deadline to Easter?

Imagine there's a transition here.

I hired a new therapist for the company - R. He's magnificent. Unfortunately, one of my other therapists (a 30-yr old male) has developed a case of hero worship that's bordering on stalking. Here's a brief glimpse:

This morning, I enter the office where - typically - C has boiled some water and made us all Chai Tea or Green Tea or Earl Grey. Whatever he feels like that morning. But not this morning, no.

I notice something that smells alluring . . . and should not be ingested because I don't NEED it!

Me: C, ummm, that doesn't smell like tea.

C: R. prefers cocoa.

Me: So . . . you made cocoa. Because R. prefers it. I see. Out of curiousity what does your wife prefer?

I look to C's wife - also a therapist - and she just rolls her eyes, sighs and says: "Like it even matters." She's been putting up with this for two weeks now, I think she's given up hope.

She mentioned something the other day about wondering if her husband had bi-sexual tendencies. I laughed - as was appropriate - but I also secretly wondered it, myself. One morning last week I walked in to find him sitting achingly close to the new therapist, with his hand under the table. "Are you guys holding hands?" I asked, seemingly jokingly. But it looked like a possibility.

So, C. made cocoa. For R. And apparently the rest of us. And force fed me two huge mugs full.
After I'd already had my morning bottle of Dasani. By the time I got to my first center, my eyeballs were floating.

Let's just say that no child had more than 30 minutes of continuous therapy.
Apparently, in my old age, my bladder has shrunk to the size of a peanut.
I haven't spent that much time in a bathroom since I was a barhopper in college. And grad school. And for a brief stint afterwards.

It's relatively obvious that I'm a little too discombobulated to be writing at the moment.
But at least I have a post up! :)
I promise to stop being a slacker soon and put up an actual post that makes some sense.


Sizzle said...

um, i stopped reading at "my christmas tree is still up" because, well, i had a heart attack. it was mild but still...what are you doing to me woman!?


sage said...

there may be rambling here, but it's entertaining... if you'd have a live tree, you'd had to have removed it or it would be a fire hazard by now (which may be another solution....)

Steph said...

I think his wife should be very worried. I bet it wasn't the other dudes HAND he was holding under that table.

Adam said...

What happens if he needs therapy?

Traveling Chica said...

Okay, so only two of you have emailed me missives to that extent, but two counts as a mob these days!


Is that what it takes?

I'll start emailing you then. ;)

meghansdiscontent said...

Sizzle - Yeah, I knew it. :( Trust me, I realize how horrible it is!

Sage - I've already gotten worlds of grief from friends about my commie tree ways. But I've never had a real tree and it seems pointless to try one now.

Steph - Oh, trust me, she's worried. C went two days without pay last week to "show R the ropes." Now, I love C dearly - and don't truly think he could have any gay tendencies - but . . .

Adam - There you are, you sneak. Where've you been??? No rockstar girlfriend excuses! I've missed you! And if C needs therapy, his wife will have to provide it. :)

Chica - Well, the truth of the matter is that I have tons of things in draft and all I really have to do is hit publish . . . but, umm, some of it seems very sad and draggy and who wants to read that??? :)

Burg said...

I love the fact that you walked in and asked if they were holding hands!! HA!

Walter said...

Yay, new post!
To find out if C and R are "switch hitters" do the following test. The next time they're in the room together hit play on a boom box with the Village People track of YMCA. If they start dancing, they're Bi. :P

meghansdiscontent said...

Burg - Oh, girl, that's the least of what I've done with them. We're all very open and casual with each other. We all, also, share a very ascerbic sense of humor. We pull no punches. Trust me on this.

Walter - Odd, I was just going to do the toilet paper test on C. I guess your way would work, too.

OH! I should blog about C making fun of his wife and I dancing to the radio . . . Hmmm, I'll think about that.

Bone said...

This sounds like your typical non-sexual man-crush, EXCEPT for the fact that they may or may not have been holding hands :)

I feel a lyric is in order. Hmm, let's see... yes, yes, I think I have one...

I will be your father figure, put your tiny hand in mine...

coyotemike said...

oooh, such fun could be had with this. You can decorate his desk with rainbows. You can send both guys valentines from each other. So many others, but they would lead to sexual harrasment on your part :P

As to the Christmas tree, I simply attribute that to your Southern-ness :P

Oh, and my new blog link is

Enjoy, and I'm SURE you were FORCED to drink two cups of chocolate :P

meghansdiscontent said...

Bone - George Michael is always appropriate for some man-loving. :) I would ask how you could pick such an apros po song . . but I'm not sure I want to know!

Coyote - I don't think it's in my best interests to encourage their romance. His wife can be scary when she's angry. :) And I was forced. It was horrid I tell you. Horrid!

Jon said...

I once was a full blown slacker, but had to stop all tendencies towards it when my wife and I got together. Something about keeping the house clean...
My blog, however, I usually slack on every few weeks. Thanks for stopping by mine; I'll be coming back here.

meghansdiscontent said...

Jon - Is that how it works? Really? Meet the right woman and stop slacking . . hmmm . . there's hope for my brother yet! :) And thanks for coming by, hope to see you again soon.