Sunday, February 25, 2007

Some People Have Therapy; I've Got This

I’m a ranter. It’s a sad, but true, fact.

If something annoys me or aggravates me, I rant. Typically, they’re pointless soliloquies that only serve to vent my frustrations. Such as this morning when the idiot in front of me on I-40 slammed on his brakes for absolutely no reason in the world and I used all the breath in my lungs to chew him out with phrases such as “Are you serious? There isn’t even anyone in front of you! Are you trying to kill us all? Where’d you get your license? A cracker-jack box? IQ tests should be required of all drivers. You, sir, would fail miserably. I’m certain of it. Idiot.

Ranting isn’t the greatest thing in the world. I have friends who are offended greatly by it. I tell them to ride with other people or make new friends.

Such as the incident with Beth on the way back from a bachelorette party in Memphis:

There was a very ignorant individual who kept weaving in and out of traffic. Typically, his weaves were directly in front of me – thus effectively cutting me off, about every 4 to 5 miles.
My friend Rebecca and I are both ranters. And, it just so happens that we were driver and front seat passenger for this trip. This was bad. Very bad. It allowed us to feed off one another.

So, every time ignoramus cut me off, we both launched into tirades about idiot male drivers and their inability to notice others on the road.

Beth finally loses it: “Why don’t you both shut up? What good does it do to yell at the moron who can’t drive? All it serves to do is annoy the people in the car with you.”
I noticed a couple of the other passengers for our trip nodding along in agreement.

You would think the fear of alienating my friends would be enough to shut me up. But, instead of stemming my rant, it caused another one: “Well, if you guys have such a problem with it, maybe you should drive once in a while. It’s not like I enjoy being the taxi-driver at all times. Yes, I have the largest vehicle, but that doesn’t automatically mean I should have to drive. First of all, I get sick of paying for all the gas. Second of all, it wouldn’t kill us to split up and drive two vehicles every now and again. Let’s face it, 8 females in one automobile is a bit too much estrogen for anyone. Particularly after 3 days and 2 nights in the same hotel room. Say one more thing about how I choose to act in my own vehicle and we can pull over and you people can hitchhike back to Little Rock. See how much you like that.

I’m not proud of this trait. Not at all. I’ve tried to alter it. Really, I have. But it is to no avail.
I’m a ranter at heart. And if this is one of my few vices, I’m sure you will forgive me.
Or ride with someone else.

Kisses!

I promise that I'm working harder at making my rants INTERNAL only.

16 comments:

coyotemike said...

I completely agree that there should be an IQ test before a driver's license is issued. As well as an age limit, and a system where you can report asshat drivers with the push of a button and the police come and tazer them.

Mmmmmmm, tazer-ed asshats :D

Bejeweled said...

Girl, I first, second, and thirdly agree with this entire post. You sound just like me while driving. It does make you feel better to scream and bitch at the idiot driver who doesn't have a clue! I say rant on babe!

Walter said...

You're too nice. You should have pulled over and booted Beth out the ride so she wouldn't be so "annoyed".

Johnny said...

Ranters are just repressed grunters.

Well, when there's a nekked boy on top of ya! muhaha!

Not so little Woman said...

It's ok to rant. We all do it, don't let your friends tell you otherwise. Oh and by the way, no need to keep the rants internal. That's why we have blogs...

Carl from L.A. said...

You don't have to apologize for expressing your feelings. You are entitled to it, especially while driving.

Jon said...

My road rage and yelling in cars in famous in my family.

meghansdiscontent said...

Coyote Mike - How interesting that you mentioned an age limit. Stay tuned for a post later this week. I've already composed it, but need time to decide if it's publishable or not.

Jewels - Yes! It makes me feel so much better! I actually have a friend, Zach, who calls trying to catch me driving. He says listening to me rant in traffic is one of the high comic moments of his week.

Walter - No, no, no. Trust me. I'm very much not too nice. Beth did piss me off significantly that day. I thought it would be worse punishment for her to have to continue to listen to our rants for 2.5 hours.

Johnny - There you are! :) And . . umm . . no, I don't think I'm a grunter. I'll check with the BF and get back to you on that.

Not so Little - Ah yes, but where do we draw the line? I was thinking the other day of how many negative rants/tangents I don't post for fear of alienating my readers completely. I didn't start the blog that way -- but somehow I ended up there.

Carl - Well . . I hope so. Since I certainly have a lot of feelings while driving. Plus, I spend over 50% of my day driving.

Jon - I don't hold a candle to my father. Not even a flicker.

Adam said...

How on earth do you think of so many words to say? Do you, like, totally practice at home?

Traveling Chica said...

“Well, if you guys have such a problem with it, maybe you should drive once in a while. It’s not like I enjoy being the taxi-driver at all times. Yes, I have the largest vehicle, but that doesn’t automatically mean I should have to drive. First of all, I get sick of paying for all the gas. Second of all, it wouldn’t kill us to split up and drive two vehicles every now and again. Let’s face it, 8 females in one automobile is a bit too much estrogen for anyone.

ROFL

Oh I so agree! I'm actually glad I wasn't there... ;)

meghansdiscontent said...

Adam!!!!!!! - I light up when I see you here! :) And yes, I practice constantly. It's hard being this loquacious.

Chica - Oh sister. Boy, are you. This is exactly why most of my friends in college were men.

Burg said...

I'm a big ranter myself. If we were to get together, we could just bitch all day long.. :D

meghansdiscontent said...

Burg - Oh, that could be bad. Very, very bad. In a good clean fun kind of way. :)

I think I've decided to make it "Rant Week" here on the blog. Stay tuned for mindless rants.

Jason said...

Rant week, huh? I bet that was a hard decision for you ;)

I totally think you should have said something to those estrogenites about having to drive everywhere.

Mr Shife said...

I found that rant perfectly acceptable and enjoyable. I am curious as to how they girls reacted after that?

meghansdiscontent said...

Jason - It's a tough job, but somebody has to do it. I'm a martyr for a cause.

Shifey - They did what all girls do. Fume internally, bitch under their breath to each other and smile politely at the person who berated them while planning evil, angry things that they'll never do. :)