Friday, March 23, 2007

Unfinished

I walked last night. And then I ran. I started running and just didn't want to stop. It was as if things I didn’t even know I was feeling were chasing me the moment my feet hit the pavement. I ran further, and it seemed faster, than I’d run in ages. And the thought struck me that maybe, just maybe, if I could keep running – they could never catch me. They would be unable to jump back inside me, weighing me down, drowning me.

But I eventually stopped running. You have to. It wasn’t a conscious thought, it was just an empty moment where I found myself at my front door. Miles Davis was placed into the surround sound system and the neighbors were treated at a late hour to So What, Blue on Green and All Blues. I skipped the exercise ball crunches and the elastic band curls to stand under the water and hope the music was louder than the thoughts in my head.

I tried to talk to someone, just to ease the anxiousness that was threatening to overwhelm me. But I learned early not to be open, and he couldn’t hear me through the walls I erected.

8 comments:

Coyote Mike said...

The wild hunt, the demons we all carry, will chase us throughout our lives.

I don't know where to go with that thought. Dammit.

Jon said...

We've all had nights like that. I usually turn on Crowbar as loud as I can, but that doesn't work for everyone.

Burg said...

Run Forest!! RUUUUUNNNNN!!!!!!!!!

Sorry.. Couldn't help myself.

Sometimes running is just the best thing to do in that moment..

Bejeweled said...

Running. The world's greatest thearpy. So is talking. I know I've been MIA but my email is always open.

Traveling Chica said...

Hope things look up for you and you manage to clear up that unfinished business: it'll haunt you until you do.

*hugs*

Walter said...

Walls become problematic. Not only do they keep people from coming in, they can also keep you from getting out.

Carl from L.A. said...

Know when to run, know when to confront.

Johnny DC said...

are there demons chasing you?

you need a .44 magnum

awww yeah