Friday, April 20, 2007

At four in the morning, my phone rang. I tried to work up some form of anger or resentment at the sounds of James Hatfield singing “No Leaf Clover” and breaking the stillness of my night, but I’d been emotionally beaten the previous day and found only mental exhaustion in my reserves.


“I didn’t wake you.”
It was a sentence, not a question. He knows I never sleep. But what if I had been?

“I didn’t think you’d answer.”
I stayed silent. The truth was that I shouldn’t have answered. We hadn’t spoken in months and had nothing to say. He refused to understand my position and I couldn’t comprehend his.

“I just wanted to say hello.”
At four in the morning? Only drunkards and morons say Hello at four in the morning.
Knowing he’d expect that response, my silence was maintained.

“Try to sleep. Please.”
I turned another page in my eighth book of the week, a thousand page monolith detailing the life of Adolf Hitler.

“I wish . . . “
I disconnected before he could finish what wouldn’t have mattered. We said all that needed to be said last July.


-Papa said...

I bet that "click" felt good.

Not so little Woman said...

Great reaction. I'm happy for you and proud that you clicked. I don't know the full story, but you know I was kind of on the same boat... And truly, who calls at 4am? Honestly!

Sizzle said...

four in the morning?

yeah, click.

Jason said...

Good for you for hanging up. It's not always easy, even when you know it's what you should do.

Traveling Chica said...

Everyone else is concentrating on the 4 am thing, so I'm going with the you said all that needed to be said last July.

Honestly, it's time to let go. I know, boy do I know, that that is easier said than done sometimes, but seriously? He's using you as a crutch, and how are you supposed to sleep knowing that?

*hugs* Disconnect the phone?

Jon said...

As far as I'm concerned, if someone's calling at 4AM, someone better have died.

coyotemike said...

This should be published as a short story. Seriously, lady, start sending stuff in!

meghansdiscontent said...

Papa - It didn't feel as good as it should have.

NSLW - Exactly. :) I'm sorry I haven't been around much lately, I plan on making up for that. I'll be by your blog before you can blink.

Sizzle - In his defense, most all of my friends know how great an insomniac I am. It's not unusual for my phone to ring at that time. Though, it's typically my brother calling.

Jason - It was simple. One of the easiest things I've ever done.

TC - It's an unusual situation. He was a very good, wonderful, terrific friend. One who felt that he was in love with me - but I was in love with someone else . . and when that looked like it had no hope, I gave this man false hope by trying to date him - trying to love him. But it couldn't work and he was very bitter and hurtful about it. In the end, I had to try and cut him out.

Jon - See what I told Sizzle. :)

Coyote - This blathering????? Oh no, no, no, no, no.

coyotemike said...

Yes, this "blathering." You're already outwriting alot of serious writers I know.