Monday, July 09, 2007

The Morbidity of My Family Astounds Even Me

As I've noted about 12 times, my family came to visit for my birthday. It was a short visit, but long enough for my father to make me laugh until my sides ached and my breath was stolen. Though, in actuality, I suppose it was my mother that caused the real laughter.

Dad: "So I was reading the Arkansas Democrat Gazette this morning and you know how the front page has that side bar thing with the little blurbs about things going on in the world and stuff, well there's this story about this guy who was at another guy's house for a dinner party and apparently the guy was pretty familiar with the guy's house or whatever and they were cleaning up from the dinner party and the guy went down to the guy's basement to put the leftovers in his freezer, now get this, he opens the freezer and . . . pause for dramatic effect . . . there's the guy's wife and twelve year old kid. He'd killed them and put them in the freezer and this guy found them!"

Me: "Ummm . . . call me crazy, but if I'd killed my family and hid them in my freezer, I'm not thinking I'd let anyone near the basement. WHAT was this guy thinking letting his friend go down there to put leftovers in the freezer??"

Dad (laughing): "What gets me is that the guy had the gall to have a dinner party! I mean, what, did he just decide, Hey! I killed my wife and kid a few days ago, but I'm getting kinda lonely, I should throw a dinner party!"

Me (ashamed to be laughing): "What is wrong with the world??!?!? People are insane."

Dad: "Yeah, well there was another story on there. But this was a sad one . . . "

Mom: "Oh! I guess the other one wasn't sad!?!?"

Dad: "Oh. . . . . Yeah. I guess it was . . . . kinda."

Needless to say when we all went out to eat with my friends and my significant other that night for my birthday, I made dad tell the story again. Hoping beyond hope that mom would pipe up with her asides again. Unfortunately, that didn't happen.


Jason said...

Um, do you know anyone named, say, Lurch? Or Morticia? ;o)

meghansdiscontent said...

Jason - Nope. But there is a bodiless hand that runs around my house sometimes. Try as I might I can't catch the little buggar. He has the fastest fingers!!

Jon said...

That actually sounds like stories I hear while hanging out with my in-laws. With them, anything goes.