Sunday, August 19, 2007

Ignorance Abounds

My mother, God love her, is the human resources director for a multi-national speaker company which shall remain nameless to protect the innocent . . and my anonymity. As a human resources director, she's subjected to a great deal of ignorance. This happened rather recently and I just had to share.

At 8:30 A.M. on a Friday morning, one of the plant supervisors calls my mother to inform her that they now have proof that an employee they'd suspected of stealing was indeed taking things that didn't belong to him. In this particular instance, it was a Tweeter.

My mother calls the supervisor and the employee in question into her office and informs said employee that he is being terminated due to the theft of the Tweeter. Strangely enough, the employee doesn't make too much of a fuss. He simply accompanies the supervisor back to his workstation, gathers his belongings and leaves the premises.

Wouldn't it be grand if that were the end of the story?

At 9:00 P.M. that night the terminated employee calls his supervisor at home and demands his job back. I have to use his exact words (and pardon my attempt at his dialect, as well), because it's the only way that the true humor of the situation may be captured:

"I ain't gwanbe fired no mo'. Ima gwana sue all you 'less you give me my job back. I's wrongfully ter'nated."

The supervisor informs him that he was caught - on video, no less - stealing a Tweeter from the plant. The accused comes back with:

"I ain't steal no damn Tweeter. I stole a Woofer. I been wrongfully ter'nated. I didun steal whatchu said I did."

Oh, sorry dude. Our bad. That's a horse of another color. Please, PLEASE, come back to work. We'll see you on Monday morning at 8:00. So sorry for the inconvenience. We'll put a little bonus on next week's check to make up for our grave error.


Jason said...

Thank you for bringing this great injustice to light, Meghan. Actually, I think he also could have claimed entrapment. I mean, you got all these nice Tweeters and Woofers around. Who could resist!

Jon said...

That's pretty dumb of him. To admit stealing, but not of the thing you were accused, is just ridiculous.
As I said on my blog, omitting names gives you a much greater degree of freedom. If nothing else, if you don't mention names, you can always say it was fiction.

Not so little Woman said...

This is great! It's like the story of the man who, after stealing some property off a store, decided to steal the security camera too. (This was captured by the *other* security camera in the room).

meghansdiscontent said...

Jason - Of course! It WOULD be the company's fault. Temptation and all. Next thing you know we'll be letting rapists off because women ask for it . . oh wait, didn't they already try that? :)

Jon - He's not the brightest bulb in the pack. There's a WHOLE other story about him that I'm contemplating blogging. Let's just say that the police are looking for him, but genius that he is - - he attempted to thwart their efforts.

Not So - I completely missed that story and I'm saddened by that. :( *argh*