Sunday, October 25, 2009

I'm the man who murdered love, Yeah, What do you think to that?

He's sitting right beside you. Holding your hand, squeezing it for comfort. Holding your head and mopping your brow. Telling you that you'll feel better tomorrow.

But all you can think is "Stop touching me!" and
"Why are you here?"

He's getting you more blankets. Making you chicken soup. Getting the mail and answering your phone.

And all you can think is "Please leave." and "None of this is changing anything."

He has no bad intentions. You can see in his eyes that all he wants to do is help. But deeper, buried, you see that other look, too. That hopeful glimmer. And whether he admits it or not, some part of him is thinking "If I do all of this. If I show her how much I care and how I'll be the most amazing guy she's ever known and how I'll do anything for her. If I can do enough, say enough, show her enough . . . she'll love me, too."

And all you can think is "I do love him." but "Not like that. Never like that."

You can tell him that all you want. You do. You have. Over and over. Again and again. But the words travel in one ear and out the other. He dates around, but comes to your house after every date. He asks a few too many questions when you've been out. Not just the "Did you have fun?" and "Who all was there?" types but the deeper "Did you go with anyone . . . like a guy anyone?" and "Did you meet anyone you found interesting? Did you give them your number?" types.

And the truth is, it's unfair to both of you. And it's unfair to me to be stuck in the middle. The friend who hears both sides.

And all I can think is "You're both damn idiots."


Anonymous said...

A situation like that is so hard to be in the middle of. I was once a long time ago and it wasn't fun. I finally had enough of both of them coming to me about it behind each others back. So I asked them both to come over and told them what I saw about yeah it hurt a bit, but life isn't fair a lot of the time and I couldn't let them both keep doing that to themselves. Now, they are still good friends, but have come to the realization that that's how they were meant to be and not anymore and have moved on. I hope the same for your friends.

meghansdiscontent said...

I actually feel for both of them quite a lot. I just get tired of dealing with it.

I've been on both sides of that -- and neither is easy. But I didn't drag someone in the middle. They need to be adults and talk about it and work out what's best for each of them.