While watching me get ready for a date:
"You never go through this much trouble when I take you out."
"Because you don't take me out. We're friends. It's not going out it's two friends enjoying each other's company over dinner."
"It's still out. I thought women went through all this trouble because they were going to be in public. Isn't the whole point of this to make other guys jealous of the guy that has you -- whether it's a boyfriend or a friend -- the guy looking at the two of you doesn't know the difference."
"Sure he does. He can tell by how we interact with each other. Am I touching your arm? Holding your hand? Stealing quick glances in your direction? If the answers to any or all of these are NO then he knows I'm not off the market. Perfect example: The waitress that flirted with you last Wednesday. She knew we were not a we because of how we interacted."
"Women put too much thought into all of this. We don't give a rat's ass how you interact with whatever guy you're with. Is there a ring on your finger? Are you hot enough to take an ass whipping for? If the answers are No and Yes in that order, we're going to hit on you."
"Actually, if you're hot enough the ring thing doesn't matter, either. We'll still hit on you. We just know the rejection levels and possibilities for an ass whipping in those cases are probably a little higher."