Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Not seeing that loving you, Was what I was trying to do

He kissed the pulse point directly below my ear before whispering, "I wish I were going home with you."

I shook my head slowly as his face turned to meet mine. "You know that isn't a good idea. We agreed. Just dinner."

"I know. I wasn't asking you to come home with you. I was just telling you what I wished. There's no harm in saying what I want is there?"

I should have answered him. I should have said Yes. There is harm in that. You saying what you want, so often - so honestly, is what got us here. But I didn't. I pushed my face into his chest, pulled my arms a little tighter around his waist and just felt him against me.

"When will I see you again?"

"I don't know. Let's not think about that now. We'll start smaller. What if I just promise to call you this week?"

"I'll take anything I can get."

I knew he truly meant those six words, but he seemed so sad as he said them.

I'm not good for him. If I had any heart at all I wouldn't have called him and asked him to dinner. He wants things I can't give and won't pretend I can.

"I'll call you. Before Friday. I promise."

And that's all I can do right now.


Gavin said...

"He wants things I can't give..."

That has to be one of the worst feelings ever. At least in my experiences.

J said...

For me its the reverse. I want things he can't give...

Chelsea Sharpe said...

Thats exactly what is happening to me.
Feels terrible.